Am I a bad mum? Halloween disagreement

We've just taken my little boy trick or treating round the estate and I don't know whether my husband is right and we shouldn't have taken him. My little boy didn't want to go to the door if we asked him to which is fine but I still asked my husband to take him down and say trick or treat so he could see what the idea was. He was thrilled to get the sweets but still said no if we asked him if he wanted to go to the house. If he'd been upset or scared I wouldn't have made him go but he does default to saying no about things. I just feel it's important for him to do these things, I was so shy as a child and I don't want him to end up the same as me. My husband thinks if he says no we should just accept it and not make him do things. I just don't know who is right. If it makes any difference we went to eight houses all together and did miss some that looked too scary for him.

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Personally I think you did the right thing, my daughter's the same and when she's doesn't like the idea of something we do it anyway to show her there's nothing to be scared of. I feel like if you go along with them not wanting to do something scary etc they will think there's something to be scared of x

I still feel like they’re a little young for Halloween so I don’t think this type of thing is important for them. My son got overwhelmed at a Halloween party today and didn’t enjoy the show at all. I’ve never been big on Halloween myself though so it doesn’t bother me.

I agree because key years of learning are up until 5years old so cultivating the habit of saying no may set the expectation that if it's too tricky he can say no and it's okay. Rather than be encouraged to persevere and realise there was no harm in it.

I just took my son around the houses and he watched the older kids do it this year so he could be part of it but I personally think he was too young to actually go and do the trick or treat bit this year.

Remember that being shy is not a bad thing. If he’s not comfortable or ready for things that’s fine! My little boy will say no to lots of things and I will always offer again, gently encourage etc. but if he says no then that’s fine. They are still so little and figuring everything out, there’s no rush! ☺️

You’ve gotta give em a little push or they’ll never try anything new!

If he wasn’t upset then I’d say it was a good experience - we all have things in life where we need some support when trying something new! It’s a strangers house so it would be intimidating to approach a house solo. My little girl went with a kid from nursery and his older sister so she had a bit of a group and she refused at a house with a scary clown and a house with a talking witch. If he refused even with your husband it’s ok to accept a no and try again next year too. Sounds like you took his feelings into account with this whole thing and helped him safely try something new

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