Help with my child!!
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So I have the feelings talk with my daughter today I feel…because….. but instead I wanna feel…. And tomorrow I want my emotions to be…. If I can’t control or understand them I will…..
Make sure no one is bothering him or doing anything to hurt or harm him. Most kids experience different things that cause them to act out because they don’t have the language to explain. Remember comfort first then teach. If this is knew behavior approach it with as much curiosity and compassion as you can.
Thoughts off the top of my head 1. Make sure school is okay and there’s no bullying or anything going on 2. Are you spending one on one time with him to bond and connect? 3. Are you giving him opportunities to be a big kid and make his own decisions rather than telling him what to do all the time? Like “hey your shoes are at the back door” instead of “go put your shoes on”. Look up “declarative language.” 4. Empathize first “ If you haven’t read them these books are great -the declarative language handbook -how to talk so little kids will listen -how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk -good inside
There is a book by Ross Greene called The Explosive Child that outlines a pretty good strategy for moments like these. He also has a website with videos which I found helpful livesinthebalance.org Basically it's sitting down with him in a moment of calm and trying to work out what's happening in those moments. You pick one as specific as possible and ask him what's going on with him without making guesses then ask what would help him in that moment and you together come up with a plan that is agreeable for both of you. Ex "I noticed you really didn't want to go to school the other day, what's up?" It can take some time to get the kid to talk but they have strategies on the website that have helpful me with my 6 year old.
@Dorothy Dr Ross Greene is fantastic!
What is his current diet like? I used to experience this with my middle one
@Jessica not the best. But not horrible. We really have no candy (minus around holidays) no soda other than the occasional sprite. And cut the red dye 40 out.
Just a thought but can he maybe have anxiety? Looking back at some random fits i had probably beginning around his age and followed me throughout high school… i didn’t realize until after graduating and becoming an adult i was suffering from anxiety. On the other hand, any new sibilings? My 7 year old has experienced some behavioral changed fortunately for me not as severe as your son but hers stem from having 2 new baby sisters (who are now 2 and 11m) so we are able to work with her.
So I have he feelings talk with my daughter today I feel…because….. but instead I wanna feel…. And tomorrow I want my emotions to be…. If I can’t control or understand them I will…..