Should you tell someone you love them even if you both are marred and happy and don’t plan on doing anything
Show your support
When you have it all together just stay away from trouble. To say the least. Be on guard of your heart the Bible says. Love you xxx my answer was before u mentioned he is abusive so had to edit……in your original post u said you’re both happy … I hope it’s not an afterthought because u need to put your emotional financial and physical health of u and your child first before even considering anything. I would ask u… what’s your priority right now.
@Riley why ? He abusive . But I’m happy and had accept where I am in life . I don’t want my ex or anyone else . I felt like an urge to say that to them . I didn’t , but I wanted to hear others opinion that’s why I posted .
multiple things wrong with that: 1) why keep a child near an abusive man? 2) thinking about another man while in a MARIAGE is cheating. 3) why get married and have a kid if you still love your ex? 4) he's your ex for a reason, he's probably happy with his marriage and doesn't need you fucking it up.
@Riley that’s true . Then I won’t tell him
no you should tell him. say "sorry I emotionally cheated on you"
you are a cheater.
@Riley if that makes me a cheater it don’t bother me . My husband has physically cheated a few times and is mentally abusive .in an argument he has told me he paid for a Bj while I was pregnant. I don’t feel bad for having feelings . Why am I still here ? I have plans . But it takes a while . Hopefully u would never be in a position like this . Anyway I’m not sad , I’m happy , I was sad for a long time . I found peace
you are putting your child in danger staying with him.
@Riley she's stated it's emotionally abusive. It's unlikely the child is in immediate danger I'm not suggesting it's a healthy environment for the child, and I'm not suggesting she should stay.... But your response lacks nuance and understanding Life isn't black and white And when you've built a whole life with someone who turns out to be abusive it's not always possible to leave immediately. Did you know that abuse tends to escalate when the victim tries to leave? Meaning doing it wrong could actually pose more danger
You clearly aren’t happy if you are in love with someone else. If he is abusive then you definitely need to leave and I hope you find the courage to do that. ❤️
Wow @Riley your responses really lack empathy and understanding. I think you were the wrong person to respond to this person's post. Surely the purpose of Peanut is to support other mums and have the opportunity to ask for advice without fear of being judged.
@Bria I’m not happy with my husband, but I’m happy
@Riley I don’t see how it’s dangerous for my kid ? He don’t do it in front our kid . Yes unstable but I didn’t chose it to be this way .
as someone who's mother is emotionally abusive, I know how quickly things can get physical. it starts emotionally until they get bored. and yes, you can suddenly snap and do the same. I witnessed it first hand. you posted, I responded. that's how this app works.
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
@Riley alrigjty then. I didn’t say anything about u commenting , u okay ? U Seem like you’re a very angry person . I will pray for your healing .
whatever you want lmao but god don't exist
@Riley so then why u so mad I’m a cheater ? No one to punish me right ? 😅
No you shouldn’t. Wait until you’ve left your husband
you don't need a god to know cheating is wrong.
As well because it’s natural to feel closer to kinder people when going through abuse. You might not feel the same way when you’ve moved on and are in a better place. It really scrambles everything
@Riley it’s wrong according to religious morals
@Molly as I said, you don't need a god to know cheating is wrong.
@Riley who said it’s wrong ?
I don’t agree with what Riley is saying, but we don’t need some mysterious God in the sky to have morals. You shouldn’t be a pos because you think there is no real consequences when you die. Our world would plummet and be a scary place if we all shared that mentality.
@Molly No it’s wrong because we know it actually physically/mentally affects people. Who cares about religion all the time, you shouldn’t screw someone over out of respect, nothing more, if you don’t have respect for that person tf are you with them for.
@Alex no, people don’t all agree on right and wrong actions
No you shouldn’t tell an ex you love them in a new relationship, especially a toxic new one, this is common sense. Yes, making an already complicated relationship more complicated and abusive is unhealthy for children. As they grow older they will know and see it no matter how much you think you are hiding. I’m sorry your partner is abusive, I do know what it’s like to get stuck in that position with kids, but that doesn’t make it right for you to start stooping to lose disgusting levels. You know it sucks to be cheated on, we all know how much of a pos you have to be to do such things to your partner, why be the same? Are you going to start emotionally abusing your ex or the next one to all because this person did it? Do better. You can’t blame anyone else for your actions/behaviors as a fully functioning adult. So maybe pray for the strength to overcome the obstacles put upon you instead of falling short because of someone else failing. 🤷🏽♀️
@Molly We all know cheating on your partner is bad or we wouldn’t have to question it as much as we do. Cop out excuse.
@Alex you think everyone naturally has the same morals 🙈 and the morals that society shares aren’t based on religious values
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
"who said that's wrong?" it's common knowledge of knowing not to cheat on somebody. you aren't loyal. even if you do split from your husband, and you ex splits from his wife and you both get together, you won't be loyal then either. you have emotionally cheated. regardless of your husband emotionally abusing you, you are supposed to be focused on your own marriage and making things better. instead you are asking if you should go and ruin your exes marriage. he doesn't want you. most likely, he just treated you better than your husband does. that's all you want. don't ruin a happy man's wedding because yours sucks.
@Molly 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Jeez, even the rough places still arranging marriages and having multiple spouses understands the topic. Like I said, if we thought cheating was okay, anywhere really, there wouldn’t be a name for it. There wouldn’t be such controversy around it, we wouldn’t be sneaking asking what circumstances makes it less terrible. We wouldn’t have videos with millions of views debating the topic, and why it is or isn’t biological. I can keep going. We know it’s wrong, it’s a widely known thing, especially those in this comment section. You don’t have to believe in a God to know this. Believing in God doesn’t even stop cheating or anything for that matter. We know what leads to chaos and what doesn’t by now surely.
@Alex you do realise those places based their values on religion as well.. it’s pretty clear according to religion that cheating is wrong but according to individual people like you said it’s debated and justified and commonly done. It used to be illegal for women to cheat but not for men to cheat with prostitutes etc. societal values change and lots of people still think if one person does something it’s okay to do it back to them.
@Molly I totally understand what you are saying, but that attempt to justify cheating by any means shows you know it’s wrong. I mean we are extremely advanced and still some people think it’s biological for men to sleep around, but persecuting and centering around purity again still shows that people know it’s not right. Ofc individuals will come up with anything to feel good about what they are doing, it doesn’t randomly make said action “morally,” just. There are people who take lives and find justification for it, but biologically humans aren’t built for it. We are built to find community. That’s why it’s chaos when there isn’t any, and there’s division.
@Molly All I’m saying is, we don’t question having to eat or drink to survive, we don’t sneak to do said things unless it’s the unhealthy bs we aren’t suppose to have. (If you care about what’s in your body ofc) We don’t sneak to go to work. We don’t sneak, attempt to justify or try and go around things unless we know it’s wrong. We naturally just do the things we know we are suppose to, no question other than maybe why. Universally we know what is right or wrong without having the fear of a God, we are just selfish humans that care more for pleasure over functionality.
I feel bad for your husband if you are thinking about other men.