My husband keep messing things up with me

I constantly feel like I’m telling my husband off which I hate and it makes me feel like a bitch. But he keeps doing it and it’s annoying (he’d admit his judgment lately has been shocking in big and small ways). I’ve even tried to flip it and ask if he’s ok or if there’s something wrong so that I can support him, but he says there isn’t anything wrong he just keeps messing up and I’m always at the end of his crappy decisions and im left to deal with it. I love him but I don’t want us heading towards splits vile because it all ends up getting too much for me and resentments start appearing. He’s a good man on a whole but I’m also a good woman and it’s starting to become really unfair. I’ve got a lot going on too as my mum is going through cancer treatment right now and that’s just a whole other stress I’ve got going on. These things he’s messing up on is the last thing I need right now but he apologises and always sees where he’s gone wrong but it just keeps happening again and again 🤷🏼‍♀️. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he was just an outright dick head who is hurting me on purpose but I don’t think he’s trying to which is also so frustrating and the only thing that Im holding onto to keep me from really kicking off! What can I do?

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My husband is currently doin the same thing. And I feel like the bad person. I love him but it's getting alot for me

Yeah I feel you @Avril I feel like I’m in a loose, loose situation because on a whole we’re great together. Or at least I keep telling myself that. I’ve even asked if he isn’t happy in our relationship but he just burst out crying and declares how he loves me more than anything and that all he wants is for me to be happy 🤷🏼‍♀️😐 But the actions don’t match up as he keeps letting me down 😩 Have you spoke with your husband?

Yeh constantly and he does the crying or quietness saying he don't mean to etc and he knows when he is in bad books coz he say I love you every 5 seconds

Can I suggest the book “Emotional Labor” by Rose Hackman? I think it could be good for you!

I mean it depends what he’s messing up on and how. Sorry to hear about your mum, it must be such a difficult time. My partner has repetitive behaviour but that’s usually when he’s wound up from work or other people. I get that behaviour because I think we can all easily slip and we just have to stand back admit it and apologise. Going off of what you are saying though it does feel he could be more relaxed and supportive. If he says nothing is going on with him but recognises his behaviour and it’s different to his previous behaviour then personally if that was me I’d be taking myself off to therapy. Not only to get better but to show my partner that I am ready to find out things even if I don’t think there’s something there. Sometimes we never know or realise what is stacking up in our minds. If he doesn’t share things with you that’s effecting him then he should really talk to you about them. But at the same time do you think that maybe he’s not sharing things because you’re going

Through a tough time? It doesn’t excuse his behaviour of course, kindness costs nothing. But if he isn’t being a good partner surely there’s something effecting him. People don’t just mess up things for no reason even if he thinks there’s no reason and he doesn’t mean to do it. I hope you can find some solution and I hope you take it easy on yourself. Don’t blame yourself or anything, it’s his actions not yours

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