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I feel it makes you more relatable to them. However I'm not an expert. Maybe get some books on empathy
It sounds like you and your husband would both benefit from individual therapy as well as a couple. Based on your post it sounds like your husband hasn’t gotten a break either, he’s working, studying and helping at home, if you need more alone time and more help then let him know, men can’t read minds let alone emotions, you can have it right in their face but they still won’t notice till you let them know. I will say “love languages” are absolutely BS and Therapists and professionals hate when people use this as an excuse for their behaviours, I’m not saying everyone does but sounds a little like an excuse/reason for breaking down and hitting your 2 year old. 2 year olds barely understand their own emotions let alone a grown adult because they just haven’t learned. A lot of kids at that age bite and hit in situations that are unknown and feel uncomfortable to them, as hard as it is, this would have been the perfect time to explain that
Explain that “mommy has a lot of sad emotions today and sometimes we just need to cry it out to feel a little better” As well have a 8 month old, have you looked into PPD and other mental health? I say this as some with with many and suffered horribly with PPD to see your doctor and ask about medications to help while you are able to sort yourself out at home with your family. But as hard as this maybe, it’s never an excuse to hit a child. I have BPD and Bipolar and I would never hit my child, instead I would ask them to give mommy some time, explain what I mentioned above and then continue my day. Please don’t take your troubles out on a toddler that doesn’t know. And tbh it worries me that his reaction caused yours then basically love bombed him instead of fully using it as a teaching moment
There has been some great advice already. I will just add to learn when you are starting to feel triggered and when you need a time out for yourself. Your toddler is just trying to figure out big emotions himself and was feeling triggered himself. Expecting him to understand what you need when most adults are still trying to figure it out is unreasonable. You need to find ways to recentre yourself so that you can be the safe space for him to learn.
I’m sorry for your experience. It sounds like it was a really hard moment. We all have them. We just learn and do better. Sending love.
I just say NO, stop or something like that and if he does it again I move away from him. My toddler is 1 and he hits. I do ask him for hugs but he often just gives them but he doesn’t always want to and that’s completely fine. Do you have any other support? Consider teaching him that he has bodily autonomy. He doesn’t have to hug anyone and using coercion isn’t OK. They have books that help that are age appropriate.
I want to start by saying that you are allowed to have emotions. Having it built up like that isn't healthy and I'm sorry that you're going through this. Do not ask your husband for time to yourself. Tell him you're going to xyz on this day. Tell him in advance. During a day you know he will be home. Write answers to questions that you think he will ask. I went on a trip to disney with my best friend for a week. I really needed it. I'm really happy I went and don't feel guilty that my kids were not there. I also to my boyfriend when I'm going out and he tells me when he'll be going out. We make sure the other doesn't need anything before we go out. Start small, go to the store by yourself. Think of an activity you might want to do. Like a paint and sip. Stuff like that. You must take time for yourself it will benefit you and your children in the long run. As for your son hitting you while you were crying. I don't think he knows how to express empathy. It's ok to cry in front of your children.