Partner goes on solo trips
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Wanting to go to therapy to get the therapist on his side is classic narcissistic behaviour. Maybe you should say that you’re happy with the solo trips but you need equal trips if your own?
Solo trips for 5 days at a time is very sus. 👀 better check that man’s phone and emails. A man with that much freedom can be up to no good.
No, that’s insane. Tell him to stay alone with your kiddo while you go on a solo trip for five days.
@Cortney he says I can go anytime. But I don’t want to leave my baby for that long!! He literally is only 20 months okd
@Emma it does seem narcissistic to me. Like you have zero intention if actually going to heal and to hear my perspective or a third parties perspective. He said he just wants the therapist to basically rip into me because I’m the one that’s in the wrong. Like no thanks asshole.
@Diana by solo I mean guys trips basically. Solo meaning not with my son and I but with his guy friends. Nothing else leads to me thinking he’s cheating he’s very transparent but I mean who knows.
@Alyssa he told me if the tables were reversed he would be extremely supportive. 🤣 suuuuuuure. It all goes back to how he’s the provider, he works, and he deserves a break and some alone time lol
Guys trip is also wary bc men typically go out to look for girls. They encourage and wingmen each other. Unless the guys he goes on trips with are all saints and totally loyal to their partners.
Girl I get it. I haven’t been away from my 19 month old not once since she’s been born. You made it seem like you wanted a break but if you are just here to vent then cool. Also therapy more than likely won’t work on someone like him so that’s just going to be a waste of both of your time. You might want to make sure he’s not cheating also. Guys trips are a known sign of that.
@Cortney I mean I would love to go on trips as a FAMILY. And yes mama needs a break too but I’m not trying to be away from my son for that long! I didn’t know guys trips are for cheating- I guess I’m naive. Honestly at this point if I found out he was cheating it would just cement the fact that I can’t be with him and it would be easier to leave. :(
@Cortney oh and I’m for sure not wasting my time with therapy with him. He thinks he knows everything the therapist is going to say and thag he’s just going to tell me I’m the problem LMAO My objective with the post was to ask other women if they’d be okay with his actions. Looks like it’s a resounding NO. Thanks ladies!
My husband did the same thing. Not so often but like every 6 months he wants to go on one for a weekend. & I don't like it. If I was you I wouldn't allow that. You shouldn't just be ok with abandoning your responsibilities and leaving it all on me so you can go have fun. When is your turn to have fun? It's very unfair & also yes it's a sign of cheating. Probably wants to go flirt with women and have one night stands. I plan on going on some trips of my own whenever I feel comfortable because if you can then I can bye boo have fun with the kids
So I’m the opposite. I think it’s totally OK for him to want to have a couple guys trip as long as you are allowed to have your girls trips and have him solo parent for a while. The difference is you don’t want to and that’s completely OK but you can’t blame him for wanting to. And I also get you feeling some type of way about it . I think at this point it all comes down to communication, but it doesn’t seem like he’s even really interested in communicating about how it makes you feel and that’s not OK because he’s not even open. I would go take a day. Go get your hair done, go get your nails done because as you said you’re a stay at home mom and that shit is hard and I doubt you ever pamper yourself because you are a stay at home mom. Let him handle it. And then after you get home, ask him if it was easy alone
@Arielle I really appreciate your input. I think everyone deserves a break/ we’re all human. I think 2-3 day trips would be totally fine, it’s the 5 days that sends me over the edge. It’s too damn long. It angers me so much.
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I would go to therapy if he agrees. That doesn't mean the therapist will take his side. In fact, therapists don't take sides. I think even if you don't want to go on trips and leave your baby, why not still get a full day or so to yourself when you'd like
Well I did agree to go to therapy and then he backtracked when I asked him for space. We couldn’t have a civil conversation and I didnt want our 20 month old son to be around it. He said I kicked him out and he’s not coming back. This happened last night. After having ONE night of space I realize this man is a total narcissist and it’s an impossible situation. Luckily I have family in the area to help me get back on my feet. But yeah obviously devastated for my son but also shocked and appalled that I really gave this narcissist everything. I feel so fucking stupid.
I’m just gonna say that I’m proud of you for making the decision that you think is the best for your son. I know it’s not easy.
@Arielle thank you I really appreciate that
If he gets solo trips and doesn’t intend on stopping them, then you should also get solo trips. It’s only fair. Being a SAHM is a job also (one where you don’t get to clock out and decompress might I add) and everyone deserves a break. You don’t want it to become a relationship where you’re solo/single parenting while he’s out living his life.