Husband tells me off I can’t manage
Show your support
Parenting is hard enough with one baby so it’s wild to me that he can’t see how you would need help with two. Have a talk with him when things are more calm. Really explain to him how you would like some more support when he’s not working. He needs to set proper boundaries with work time and family time. All the other household or car stuff can wait.
Have you been on care.com? You can hire a nanny to help. You when you need it since it seem that his actions are saying he prefer the masculine works. With to each it's own. But having a nanny will. Give you time to come. Back into. Yourself bc your not just a mom. You're someones. Wife and you own person. Even if ita not everyday twice a week for you to alteast get dressed an clean up. Or have someone clean up. For. You or whatever they have it all. You have to have. Membership to join. I will say make a contract on what your needs an his needs are when it. Comes. To. The children. Pleas put. Clause on what are the stipulations for letting them go and please please purchase a uniform. Homepay by care.com. Can help. You with all. These so you're not alone. Also. Dont beg him. Be Sturn with what you require him to to do for you until. You have your business. Together for the babies.
Approach him at a calm time and explain that watching twins all day every day is exhausting for anyone, not just for you, and you need a break every day 1) “because someone needs to do necessary things” like whatever chores you do and 2) to shower and have a rest. Assign him a few hours per day to have the twins - once he experienced what it’s like, he won’t be asking why you need help 🙄
He really should be pulling his weight, I think you need to prioritise your mental health at this stage. Moments when he is home and not on shift and you need a moment - head on out, tell him you’re heading out and leaving the twins and you’ll be back in an hour or so. Go for a walk, drive, massage, coffee - anything that will fill your cup again. He’s their dad he can manage them.
Hire a nanny if he won’t help you. He can pay for help lol
Thank you ladies. We’d love to hire a nanny but since I don’t work, all the bills are on him and we cannot afford help. Thank you for your replies I’ll have to approach him again!
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. His behavior is not okay. I understand he’s working and has things to get done around the house but he should not be yelling at you especially in front of your kids. He should want to be with his children and it sounds like he expects you to do all the work. Maybe have a conversation with him about his attitude and tell him he needs to set time to be with his family.