in First time pregnancy , First time moms

Super overwhelmed

So I'm 31 weeks pregnant today, and have been told by my midwife he will likely be here around the 37 week mark, meaning I've only got about 6 weeks left... I still feel like I have so much left to do, and cannot seem to get myself organised. I've still got loads of washing to do, pack my hospital bag, get a few more bits that are needed, put it all away/organise everything. I have a partner that works extremely long hours so feel quite alone in getting sorted. On top of all of that, I live in a small 2 bedroom flat, with my best friend, my partner and our 2 dogs so it's a very full/busy household. My partner is now telling me I need to get the whole flat organised ready for our bundle of joys arrival, but it's not my stuff to get rid of. I don't want to go around just chucking out my best friends things.... He also keeps letting me know that if midwives/health visitors see the flat as it is, (there is stuff everywhere. It's clean but messy if that makes sense), that the chances are my baby will either be taken from us, or I'll be moved into a hostel or something similar which just adds to the pressure I already feel to get ready. I don't know how to even make a start anymore, I just feel so overwhelmed I can't stop bursting into floods of tears. My partner and I are desperately looking for a house of our own, but we won't be able to move into one before our son is here, which makes everything more difficult. Sorry for the long post.

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Don’t be so hard on yourself long as you have a area to change your baby diapers wipes changing pads and gas drops and a few newborn clothes washed everything will be fine newborn’s don’t need that much so don’t stress yourself out that amount of stress isn’t good on the baby

And as far as your hospital bag you won’t need much the hospital provides most the essentials. All you really need is a few night gowns some socks and slippers. Pack your postpartum essentials I would get the Frida’s kit if you haven’t already. And your toiletry toothbrush shampoo conditioner body wash loofa and a towel

It’s okay most of us didn’t have everything organized and ready for Baby till a week before delivery

Don’t worry - in the lead up to my LG’s arrival I also felt overwhelmed and that I hadn’t got anything prepared. It might sound silly but what really helped me was to make a list with 2 columns - what really needed to be done before she was born VS. what could wait until after. Each day I tackled one thing from the Need to Do’s column and this made me feel so so much more organised. I also found doing baby prep checklists online like this one to be a massive help - https://www.thebump.com/a/checklist-baby-essentials 😊

@Lexi thank you. I managed to get some of his washing done yesterday which I guess was a first step. My changing table is in place with a changing mat, although I'm yet to get nappies/wipes etc. It just feels like I'm failing him and my partner by not being able to get myself together.

@Dani thank you Dani, I will try that. I live by lists, but it just seems like the list for baby is endless. Maybe if I can figure out what needs to be done before his arrival maybe it will help. At this point I'm willing to try anything. Thank you for that checklist, it seems a lot better than any I've managed to find

sorry for the incoming essay.. I personally would listen to what your midwife said about when you’re gonna deliver your baby, unless you’ve got a planned C-section or something. your midwife can’t predict when baby is going to come. my midwife told me when i was 36 weeks they baby was “ready” and will come “anytime now” which to me implied soon, but actually arrived at 41+3. there’s no way for midwives to predict when baby may arrive, you can be fully engaged and starting to dilate but doesn’t mean baby will arrive right away. a friend of mine was in slow labour and was 2cm for like a week before giving birth In terms of health visitor, they don’t actually go round your house looking around, mine literally came in, sat on the sofa, we had a conversation and they were gone. they didn’t look around the house. if it makes you feel better, i also have 2 pets and my house is also messy/lots of stuff but clean. sending you positive vibes xx

@Hannah as of yet no c-section/induction thankfully. My baby has been 'ready' since about 24 weeks, which could potentially be why my midwife is convinced it will be soon. Thank you for this reassurance, I've been so worried that where I live won't be up to a 'safe/hygienic standard'. It makes me feel slightly more comfortable knowing they won't go poking around x

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