Am I hormonal or am I feeling realistically upset?

Okay so back story. I’ve been married 4 years. I’ve caught my husband in more lies than I count. To be fair most of them have been about porn, but I’ve expressed that I’m not comfortable with that and he’s agreed that he wouldn’t watch it. Some of the lies have been more thought the first time I was postpartum (we have 3 kids) he used an app to put my face on a vs model. When I had a cancer scare he looked up what kind of breast implants I could get. He’s made comments about finding my ex best friend and sister attractive and he made a sex joke about a coworker who happens to be his friends gf. Tonight someone I know dropped dinner off for us and he said he found her attractive and blushed and laughed. I’ve found jewelry and other items in our house that none of our friends claim and he says he knows nothing about. I found a time stamp on his old snap chat account that says that he messaged he ex girlfriend the night before our wedding (but it obviously doesn’t show the snap). A week before I gave birth (I’m a week postpartum) he barely messaged me but spent time watching porn when he knew that I was having a horrible time because I was having Braxton hicks and our daughter had a horrible stomach bug. And then he lied about it when he came home (tbh the lies bother me more than anything he’s done. I’ve forgiven quickly when he’s told me the truth). My last week of pregnancy I wasn’t able to satisfy him sexually because I was in pain and he complained often. I finally told him he could watch whatever porn but please not to talk to ai girls and all he did was talk to ai girls. Now my heart feels broken and I can’t help but feel anxious about all the unknowns. Who did the jewelry belong to? Did he actually sleep with the co worker he made jokes about (she was oddly rude to me the first time we met and then super nice for no reason at all)? Did he snap his ex the night before our wedding? So, am I upset for realistic reasons or am I just being hormonal? Is this just postpartum anxiety or is he an ass hole? Am I being unforgiving or should I move on?

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The only thing I will say is sometimes snap shows an “opened” message from the day yalll added each other. It wouldn’t have kept an opened arrow from a legit snap 4 years ago. So they probably added each other back around that time but unless messages were saved, you would have no idea when the last time they talked was. But sounds like you have a man who you can’t trust.

All of these things are awful. I’m sorry 😞

@Kiarra wait so the opened arrow is around the time they added each other? None of his old chats were like that

Yes, it could just be from when they added each other . I’ve freaked the f out because of this. When he was gone for 10 days in the mountains hunting with ZERO reception, I was logged in to his account and I added some of my family members from his account. Every single one of them showed up like this. I also have the same trust issues, I say if you can leave then RUN.

Lovely he’s being awful to you. This is not anxiety please don’t blame yourself, your feelings of worry are valid because his behaviour is unacceptable.

Sweetheart you have gaslit yourself so long and now you finally wanna wake up but it’s hard cause the truth is never pretty but me personally I’ll rather get the pain out the way then to keep blinders on and stay in some shit that makes me feel insecure , less than or sad life is far to short for that shit

Hi, You can message me if you’d like- I have a somewhat different perspective. My husband loves porn. He just does. Sometimes he goes overboard and I tell him he hurts my feelings. But we were friends for over a decade when we got together and then married so this is something I know about him. I may be the weirdo, but I don’t think that your husband looking at porn means anything more than he likes porn. If he wanted to cheat-he’d cheat. He’d be looking up ways to cheat, not porn. And if he is actually watching porn with your face on it- that is truly amazing. I’ve never heard of that before and I would take that as a sign that he 1 thousand percent loves you but he is a horny guy that is making poor choices at the moment. I don’t know anything about Snapchat and him lying is a problem. None of this is hormonal- it’s all real. I would try to talk to him about why he doesn’t feel like he can tell you the truth about watching porn. And reiterate to him how much it bothers you.

Wow! He is clearly crossing all boundaries and not caring how it impacts you! Disrespect to the max xxx

I can’t message you personally, so I have to add this here- he could be a total dick, it’s hard to say. Sending ❤️. Message me if you want to talk.

I cannot believe you would even THINK this is on hormones. Absolutely not.

Why are you with him? If my partner did/said any of these things I would immediately leave. He obviously doesn’t respect you at all and he’s going to keep on doing it and crossing your boundaries because he can. You seriously deserve better and I urge you to leave him.

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