I feel so alone…
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I’ve been pregnant twice, both times I hated it and both times I had the opposite of a “glow” 😅 worse eye bags and enough acne to rival a teen boy when normally my skin is clear, my nose doubled in size too. I also didn’t bond with my first baby immediately! I still loved her, but it took months before I felt that “bond” and I beat myself up about it. Constant feelings of guilt and mainly just going through the motions: diaper, feed, diaper, hold, sleep, repeat. I didn’t feel that bond until she was 3 months old, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t love her, nor did it mean I was a bad mom. If it takes a while for you to bond with your baby, same thing. You’re still gonna be an awesome mom, even if you have to fake some smiles while going through the motions on autopilot for a while. That said, not feeling that bond CAN be indicative of PPD after two weeks (<2 weeks is just the postpartum blues — be prepared to cry constantly), so make sure to check in with yourself regularly and reach
out to your OB, hubby, therapist, etc. if you notice that you’re not feeling well mentally. Remember: motherhood is HARD. Never feel guilty for struggling or needing help, we were never meant to do this alone.
@Brynne thank you so much for sharing your experience and your words of wisdom. It makes me feel less alone! I feel like people don’t talk about the realities of the down sides!
Oh 100%, there are a LOT of things that I keep learning that is just not talked about enough and I feel like it’s detrimental as a whole. A lot of people preach about informed consent when it comes to procedures involved in pregnancy/etc, but not so much about the basic stuff. Like, why did nobody tell me that most women find breastfeeding to cause excruciating pain for the first month or so? All I ever heard was “if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong”, but I was doing it right. Because of that dialogue, I gave up trying to BF my first because no matter what I did, it hurt. I almost gave up with my second as well until I randomly came across a post on Threads talking about it and knowing that it’s common and I just need to stick it out for a bit longer gave me the mental fortitude to do so. I think there’s a lot of that sort of thing in the journey of and into motherhood. Too much sunshine and rainbows in the discussions without acknowledging the rain that leads to the rainbow.
Also side note: bad moms don’t worry about if they’re bad moms. Good moms do. 💜
@Brynne awww! You just made me cry! What a great quote. And thanks for sharing about your breastfeeding journey. I have been trying to pump to induce labour but it makes me feel so icky and nauseous. Never expected to have such a reaction. I didn’t know many ppl find it painful. That’s good to know so I can expect and anticipate.
The icky and nauseous is a bit different, it might be DMER (Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex)! I don’t know too much about it because I never really had a need to, but try checking it out and seeing if the shoe fits! There’s a decent amount of info and personal anecdotes on that luckily 🫶
Also!!! The pain I was referencing is moreso inside the breast close to the nipple. If the pain is on the outside, double check your flange size, try nipple creams, and/or try silicone flange inserts
I absolutely hated being pregnant and I most definitely never got the ‘pregnancy glow’ you’re not alone x