How to cope when you want more children, but your partner doesn't?

Has he explained why? I’m in a similar situation.. just had my first baby 6 weeks ago and I know for sure i want to do this again but my partner is saying he doesn’t. Breaks my heart

@Nora No, he hasn't really given me any solid explanation. It is heartbreaking. My daughter is almost 3 now, and he still feels the same. Has yours said why he doesn't want any more? (Congrats on your new bundle of joy btw! 🩷🩵)

Thank you! As I put away his newborn clothes I wonder if it will be last time so it’s on my mind. Hoping he will have a change of heart when baby gets older but I can’t help but wonder if it won’t. He thinks we are too old and thinks about the financial burden and all sorts of ‘what if’s’.

I would say a discussion is definitely needed but ultimately only two concrete yes’s should result in another child, otherwise there could be major consequences to not only your relationship but also the child

I agree. Must be two yes’s… but he says he wouldn’t mind adopting so It’s confusing…

@Nora it took us >3yrs to decide we could face having another child. For a long time both of us said we couldn't see us going through it all again. But here I am 39weeks pregnant. Keep the discussion open - he may change his mind as your little one gets a little older

OP - I'm sorry your partner feels like this. I do think he owes it to you to at least explain why he changed his mind as it affects you so much and you went into parenthood planning to have more x

He definitely owes you an explanation as to why, but ultimately he is entitled to change his mind. Kids are hard work, so I can understand why people change their minds once they actually HAVE them!

Honestly i would have a child anyway with a donor if he refused. Your reproductive years are limited but his are practically til the day he dies. Not agreeing on this subject is a pretty stark sign of incompatibility…maybe need to have a serious conversation about your future together

He says he wouldnt mind adopting?! That’s bizarre. What possible reason could he not want to have any more children of his own after already having one yet be open to adoption? I understand wanting to adopt but the weird bit is not wanting anymore who he has fathered yet still wanting to be a dad? Has having a child had a bigger impact on your relationship with him than you realise perhaps and he has seen you going through pregnancy etc as something he really struggled with and wouldn’t want to do again? I have so many questions for him, I can’t imagine how you feel. Definitely get him in a room and get answers!

@Jess i think there are a few reasons, it’s part altruistic (so many kids that need homes) and I think he’s a little afraid of babies to be honest or rather the baby stage. I’ve really been doing most of the work so it’s not like it’s hard for him but I think he’s afraid of the baby and hasn’t bonded with him so much yet. I think time will tell and these convos haven’t been super serious yet and I wouldn’t want to go for round 2 for another 2 years at least so his mind could change.

@Nora I get wanting to adopt and the many positive reasons to do so. It is concerning though that a reason for this drastic change of heart may be that he hasn’t bonded with his child. That needs addressing. Also, for him to say having more kids is a deal breaker is a concern too - doesn’t feel like a discussion but more an ultimatum and lack of respect for the relationships and partnership. But that’s just me. I hope you find resolution and options that make you both happy.

@Jess it’s not a dealbreaker. It’s still an open discussion. There are two scenarios in this thread, incognito originally posted this ( sorry incognito for hijacking part of this thread! ) I am hoping with some time and bonding, things will take a turn. We are only 6 weeks in with our first.