What do I do?!

Baby’s dad was amazing when my baby girl was born for a whole 2 weeks. Then he stopped coming round I didn’t question it because I don’t want to bother him. He’s recently confided in me that he’s feeling severely depressed, and honestly, I’m unsure if I should believe him, he’s sending me snaps of him laughing with his mates and brothers and family even when he’s on his own, but as soon as he comes near me or my baby he’s got a face like a smacked arse and won’t even acknowledge me or my baby. He asked a big favour to look after his cat as he’s moved out and can’t take her so I’ve agreed to take her, he said he’d bring her round then the day came and I heard nothing, I waited all day for him to come round and he never showed up. So I messaged him and asked what was happening he then replied is a way I saw was extremely rude, blunt and snappy, I have been nothing but nice to him all I wanted was the common courtesy to send a message to let me know he wasn’t bringing her round that day. I cancelled my plans that day to wait for her it’s completely disrespectful of my time. What do I do I want to say something and tell him how much this is affecting me and my stress levels but friends have said not to because of how he’s feeling I’m at an absolute loss
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Let him. I know it’s upsetting, but my sons 5 now. His dad is in his life but by the absolute bare minimum. & he is starting to see it now. & sometimes it’s best to bite your tongue, but me personally idk how to do that and I will say something 🤣

No that’s unacceptable. Have you asked him how he’s so “depressed” when he’s around you and the baby but is having the time of his life out with friends and family? It sounds like he’s being manipulative to try and get out of any responsibility. And even if he is depressed, that’s not an excuse. Mothers with postpartum depression have to suck it up and so does he. He’s a father and he needs to start acting like one. If it were me, I’d stop doing favors for him. I’d also set up a set schedule for when he can see the baby. That way he can’t control your life by making you wait on him. You tell him the days and times you’re available, and he can show up if he wants. If he doesn’t show up, that’s on him and I promise he will regret. Kids grow up and realize who’s always been there for them.

@Sierra I feel like i need to tell him so im not as stressed out about it im the kind of person who will say something if im not happy but not in a nasty way but he’s told me he doesn’t want to be bothered by anyone so I don’t want to push him. I don’t want to give him the excuse to kick off and be rude it’s so difficult. When I was pregnant I accepted I was going to be a single mum then he decided to come back into my life wanting to be involved with baby. I’m literally a single mum he does nothing hasn’t bought one thing for her it’s beyond ridiculous now

I don't know why society has made it okay for men to play part time parent or to do the bare minimum because they are unwell. Us mothers are not given the same leniency. It takes 2 people to make a baby, if you're unwell do something about it because you're a parent and you should want to be your best self for your child/ren. It really baffles me. Sorry am ranting but back to you, I'd say something because at the end of the day he's that baby father and the more you give him empathy he'll take that and ran with it then he'll feel doesn't need to do better because you'll accept whatever crappy part of himself he's giving to you and your baby. Worse case scenario he'll stop talking to you and abandon your child be then you'll get peace of mind.

@Julianna I can’t talk to him he doesn’t want to be bothered so I leave him to it. I left him when I was 12 weeks pregnant because he was emotionally abusive I accepted I was going to be a single mum then he came back into my life and wanted to be involved with baby, I gave him the chance and he’s evidently let me down. I’ve only said I’d have the cat because she used to live with me then we broke up so he took her with him because it’s his cat so I’d love to have her back she was absolutely lovely any other favours I wriggle my way out of them. I’ve tried setting a schedule but apparently it’s ’too much pressure’ and by that he means he’d rather be with his friends. The rare occasion he does come round and has hold of baby she screams until she’s given to his mum or me or my mum it’s like she knows she’ll be 11 weeks tomorrow and it’s amazing how she can pick up on feelings

@Maggie you’re 100% right it’s double standards if a woman leaves her baby it’s ’how dare she’ but when a (I was going to say man😂) BOY leaves his baby it’s ‘well he mustn’t have been ready’ ‘or he’s doing right by him’ it’s completely wrong!! I think I’m too understanding and nice and he’s taking advantage of that and it’s unacceptable. Quite frankly if he does stop talking to me and abandon my child it’d be the best thing to happen I wouldn’t be stressed and I can put 110% of my attention on her, she always has my full attention and always will but this is always playing on my mind and it’s simply not fair

Drop me a text if you want to vent, going threw something similar. And I agree with Maggie 💯 it takes two too tango x

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