Partner helping?
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I feel you. I've had no help for 5 months 😭 I ask him to do something ands it's absolute uproar. His excuse is she won't settle with me. Yes because she sees you for an hour a day after work and you play with her and have never been serious with her since the day she was born. The more you do it the more she'll settle with you. I've got a day out at the end of November and he's simply said I either don't go or I find child care because he's absolutely not doing it 😃 I think I'm at the point where I need to implement an ultimatum because im at my wits end and it's effecting our marriage and I honestly think it's making me resent him.
My husband is amazing. He does the last bottle before bed (9pm) so I get things ready for the night and get into bed. We have a rule in the week that if she’s not down by 11 (normally down about 10ish) he wakes me so he can go to sleep. I do the night feed in the week but he does the night feeds on the weekend. I sometimes feel guilty as he’s not getting a break but like he said he gets a break at work I have to deal with our little one 24/7 and she can be a handful. Sorry you aren’t getting a break 😩
Work isn't an excuse not to parent, so his tired at work if he does a night feed? But he gets a lunch break, do you? What if you can't rest in the day as I know I can't with 4 other kids and housework, running around to appointments and food shop and having 3 children with disabilities. My partner was home (not even half the time due to help) with 3 out of the 4 when I had a long stay in hospital and he said he couldn't do it the other way around. That was when he had lots of help. When ever he is home the care of the hpuse and child should be shared 50/50
Being “off” on maternity doesnt mean you have to work 24/7. That sounds like he has very little understanding and respect for mothering. He should try doing it for a whole day and then see if he still thinks it’s fair and balanced that he works 40hs a week and you work 168.