Would your husband/partner like this or hate this?

Voyeurism is a kink, and that's essentially what you would have been doing. A lot of people are comfortable with it, and some are not comfortable with it, and your partner isn't. I dont think there is any need to feel rejected, he told you the reason why he didn't want it. It's not like he just brushed it off.

@Jayde I suppose it’s a little surprising to me as many years ago when we were younger and more adventurous -pre kids we’d done similar things.. being “hidden” in public.. expect it was his idea and I was the one receiving. So for me it didn’t feel like something so far from his comfort and I expected him to be happy

Does it matter if other people would like it? He didn't want to 🤷🏼‍♀️

My partner explained it earlier on that though he’d done riskier sex behavior in the past, he views me with respect. For us it came up about the topic of full blown sex in public places, as we’d both historically done it and discussed our pasts so I was confused when he said he’d never do it with me. He said something like “a lady like you deserves a bed and privacy, I can wait.” I was satisfied with that response.

It’s not some peoples thing they’d rather be in the comfort of more privacy or at home, saw a post the other day a lady said they only ever done it in their bedroom not even anywhere else in the house

@Nika that’s a good way to put it!

@Peer95 you’re right. I am probably a little too sensitive around the topic. I guess it’s my desperate attempt for connection. I need to find better ways to connect that we’re both happy with. He mentioned that “no guy would ever feel comfortable with this unless they were a teenager” which prompted me to see if that’s the case. But you’re right it doesn’t matter

@Nika thats a nice perspective. Thank you for sharing

@Heidi yeah I definitely understand that. I am usually the one who prefers to be in the bedroom with lights off. I get it can be a situation that doesn’t feel the most comfortable. I just thought because we had done similar in the past he would enjoy it. But it really felt like such a shock to hear him reject it. I think I am just missing intimacy and connection and searching for any way to have it…

I think it’s understandable to feel rejected when anyone rejects your sexual advance but it is not wrong for your husband to feel like this regardless of if other guys would be into it. ☺️ some people have different boundaries. i think it’s sweet that he sees sex as more intimate and would rather you be kissing and touching than just secretive it shows it means more to him than just getting off xx

Hmm, I think my man would have to be in just the right mood for this tbh!

My ex definitely would have loved it, but my husband is very shy with intimate stuff and I don't think he'd go for it

@Heidi my husband and I have lived together for almost 10 years. Several different houses. We've only ever not been in our bed one time I can think of (the couch) haha. Don't know why, just not our thing.

I know this feeling, I completely understand you! Before having a baby, we were always very horny, he was « easy to convince » even « exhibitionism » like being risky is really my thing and not his at all. He explained me as well that as we just had a baby, ofc he still sees me as a hot wife, but also as a mother, and being parent makes him prefers more gentle sex. It doesn’t mean we won’t keep exploring and being crazy sometimes, but it just takes time and the feeling is different for each of us ! He also explained me that being in love with me always made him respect me and treat me very differently than previous relationships he had, and he just can’t see himself doing certain things to me because of that respect I feel like becoming parents change a lot of things, nothing is forever, just meaning the transition, and the moments can be lived differently by each of us We have to take a distance and understand that the love and desire is the same, just has evolved

I know that feeling and it’s hard not to feel that way even if you know it’s not a big deal for your partner and has nothing to do with yourself ! But yeah we have to understand that we can’t be always 100% at the same page than our partner, especially after having kids (so very busy life 🫠) and that’s okey ! The important is having an honest conversation and feel free to express yourself ! I even cried about it tbh 😂( postpartum hormones) so you are not alone

My husband hates the idea of anything in public. Said it’s not worth the risk and I agree. That’s a quick way to be registered as a sex offender