Am I being unreasonable and what can I do?

So I live in a converted Victorian flat so the walls are unfortunately paper thin. The neighbours next door have a very loud 3 year old who screams and shouts and runs around the flat ( I can feel the foot steps and thumps every time). It’s like a horse running up and down all evening. I’ve even heard him tell his mum and dad to shut up. 👀 I’ve seen his dad taking him out on his bike and this kid was literally riding his bike in the middle of the road whilst his dad was looking at his phone all the time. Every evening from 6:30pm I have to go sit in my bedroom because sitting in my living room is too loud with him making so much noise. I’ve written them a really kind note explaining that I had a newborn at the time and if they could consider keeping the noise to a a reasonable level and I would do the same and be considerate. I even had a polite conversation with his mum and we were nice to one another. Mum said her son is wild and she’s exhausted. I get it but also…you have one child and there’s two of you. I’m alone with a baby so I’m exhausted most of the time. The noise stopped for a couple of weeks after that but now they don’t care. Even if I tell them it’s a little loud they just don’t do anything about it. It’s really affecting my mental health and I’m always anxious worried it will wake up my baby. I can’t relax in my own home. I know they don’t have to do anything if they don’t want to and it’s my problem not theirs but I can’t even enjoy my evenings anymore. Their son goes to bed at 10pm every night and sometimes later so it’s non stop from 6:30pm until he sleeps. He’s three years old so not sure if I’m the only one who thinks that’s a little late for his bedtime? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve thought about writing to the council to complain and explain the situation but I don’t want it to get to that. What would you do? 😢

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I feel you as the family living upstairs also the same. They have 2kids. They don’t have carpet for sure and dragging furniture, running, dropping things etc. Sometimes can hear their conversation which I thought I live with them 🙄🙄 They literally won’t care and I am also struggling to deal with the noise. 😢

@Kai it’s so hard isn’t it? I’m not even under them but I feel like I have their 3 year old running wild in my living room every evening. 😭 I lived in the same situation as you for 4 years. By the time I left I had really bad anxiety and couldn’t believe how much it affected me. Now that I live on the first floor with wooden floors myself I’m always careful. I’m just shocked at how many people don’t care and so inconsiderate

It’s a tricky one, we live in the same situation with a loud next door. But have just learned to deal with it basically. The boy is on the spectrum so i don’t think it can really be helped.

big hug 🫂 Apart from tolerate them we cannot do anything. I totally agree with you that it’s affecting mental health. But don’t let them bother you too much and find ways to relax yourself. My block has many young children families and so many just let them cry out. But if you feel that you need to escalate the issue please do it. I would say do what’s best for you. x

@Kee I’ve wondered this about this child too but mum and dad are Eastern Europe and English isn’t that great so not sure if they are even being supported. I guess they will find out when he begins school

@Kai I don’t really want to escalate as the issue is a very loud child. I then don’t want them doing the same if my baby is crying but maybe I was just raised differently and parent my children differently. Always had routine and a reasonable bedtime. I definitely didn’t allow my children to run around the house like that screaming and shouting. Always taught about personal space and being considerate of each other’s space in the home. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh same. Neither my parents would just let me run around and 24/7. It’s not playtime. Argh…..daytime I just try to get out the house so I am not stuck and get stressed from the horses. 😮‍💨

@Kai 🤣🤣 luckily mine aren’t home from 8am to 6pm 😅

Writing to the council will amount to nothing as they don't investigate noise complaints about babies and children being loud or playing in the house as it's not considered noise nuisance or ASB unfortunately. Also if there were to be an underlying reason for it unknown to yourself for example SEND needs you wouldn't have a leg to stand on in your complaint either. Difficult to understand and see it from their perspective now as you have a newborn but once your baby becomes a toddler you may well understand there's only so much you can do to stop a toddler from making noise, it's developmentally normal behaviour. Best thing I ever did was get my newborn used to there being a certain level of noise in the house so he slept through most things. My advice is coming from having lived in a flat / maisonette above a racist and abusive neighbour for 2 years who would bang in the ceiling if my newborn baby woke up crying for a feed or nappy change.

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