ADHD or just plain rude?
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Hmm, this doesn't sound like adhd to me, more like him taking the piss! My fiance also has adhd and he wouldn't do this. Although, he is late to almost everything, so I feel your pain there!
I have ADHD and this sounds like communication issues, not ADHD. If he needs time to be elsewhere doing other things, he needs to communicate that. When the only explanation is that he "just wants to have dinner and relax for a little get over it" - that's not what he said he was going to do, and telling people to get over it when he wasn't clear in the first place is rude. If your plan changes while away and someone is expecting you, you can text them to explain, ADHD or not.
@Lyss that’s where I’m torn, cause that’s how he is. Usually he’s doing a shit ton of something that leads to nothing. If that makes sense. But for him to say he just needed to relax it kind of bothered me. He did say within that time to relax he needs it for his brain to decompress some so I didn’t want to get on his case. I understand he struggles hard with adhd. It’s probably the worst I’ve ever seen in an adult let alone anyone. Granted the weekends he has his son is always family time, so I’m actually quite surprised he spent that much time away from us this weekend - maybe he really needed to decompress? Especially since he only gets his son every other weekend. @Kate There’s nothing I hate more than waiting on someone. This has been a struggle in our relationship due to his constant lateness. It enrages me when I feel like my time is not valued when I’m always on time to everything. Recently to combat that, since talking didn’t work, I now show up late myself 🤷🏻♀️
As someone with (unmedicated) ADHD, who struggles with symptoms on a daily basis… this doesn’t really sound like ADHD. It feels, to me, like he’s weaponizing his ADHD to excuse bad behavior. Regardless, I recommend having an honest conversation about it. I’ve been able to work through some of my issues because my partner talks to me and we develop a system that works for us!
I have adhd… and I am really big on ableism but that doesn’t seem to be what’s going on here cuz it just seems like he is disappearing which I don’t necessarily do- especially not with my partner… when I say I’m going be somewhere I’m busting my ass trying to be on time and to be where I said I was gonna be. Yeah I may run 15 mins late but I’m like running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to not hold up someone I care about. One of my pet peeves ive recently discovered is when people use their mental health issues as a reason for being a shitty person. That’s now a big red flag for me.