registry guilt???
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I feel this way too every time I have a baby. But tbh it’s bc my family mostly sucks 😅 i just remind myself that if it were my kids or nieces, nephews, friends, etc. that i am genuinely stoked to buy baby stuff for them, it makes me happy and I want to get them exactly what they want/need!
I started out feeling this way too, but then seeing all the people coming out of the woodwork who were overjoyed at the fact that I was beginning my little family and wanted to help out made me realize that no one felt obligated and they all just genuinely cared 🥰 If it helps, a lot of registries have it where you can add a “contribute” options to the higher price items, so if someone doesn’t want to outright buy you to the $400 crib, they can contribute to the crib fund! Might ease some of the “guilt” you’re feeling if there’s an options for friends and family to help out for less money. Also!! If it’s all done through an online registry you will now easily have everyone’s mailing address so you can send them a thank you card! I was also able to send birth announcements and Christmas cards this way ☺️ for some people, getting those nice notes and baby photos is more than enough of a thank you!
Don’t feel guilty! The people that can afford the expensive stuff will deal with that and the people that can’t will get the less expensive. I added all sorts of things to mine and it definitely wasn’t all fulfilled by the shower! Anyone buying you and baby a gift I’m sure is more than happy to be helping you mama!
@Kelly Kearns it’s so difficult with my family because we’re so disconnected and connected at the same time? like no one talks to each other (extended family wise) but everyone knows everyone’s business lol
@Deya I totally understand! That’s how mine is. We are very dysfunctional but somehow still connected
@Ariel oh i had no idea about the contribute option, i like that a lot!! i’m definitely gonna use that. and you’re right, i have to remind myself that they’re not doing it because they feel obligated but they actually sincerely want to help 🩷
I felt sooooo guilty putting things on my registry and then I realized that if people can and want to, they will. No one is forcing them to do anything. It’s still so hard for me to ask for things and accept help though 😅 If you don’t mind second hand things, join your local Buy Nothing Project group on facebook! I’ve been gifted gently used items that I had on my registry that were not purchased by friends and family.
I agree with second hand things or the mom trade groups for your local area. Even marketplace you can find great deals. We got our bassinet for $30 and it’s like new. Also look for things that arent name brand but do the same thing. You’ll find that you don’t need a whole lot actually. I have a swing and a bouncer, I really only need one. Or the pack n plays, find one that has a changing table, bassinet, and the play area / sleeping area they use as they grow. That’s 3 things in one. The more expensive things you don’t want to find second hand is a car seat as they have expiration dates and you’ll want one that fits your needs.
Totally can relate to that. And the baby showers that the family wants to throw for you. At least I felt guilty about that. I felt a little better after I wrote thank you cards.