So confused

My LG had her 10th month development health visiting review this afternoon. Everything was going well until we started discussing about her milk and solids and it got me so overwhelmed I started crying as if I am doing something wrong. My LG just about has 2/3 meals a day, if she doesn’t want a meal I give her some snacks or fruits with water. She doesn’t like water that much but I still offer it through out the day. Regardless she only settles after her milk if she’s still hungry after solids and water. On average she’ll have between 90-120ml every 3-4 hrs, so in a 24 hour period she’ll probably have probably 6 bottles. When I was worried that she doesn’t have much solids I spoke to HV team when she was 9 months old, and they advised that’s ok because milk is her main source of nutrients so if she still has little bit of solids that’s okay. And because she only drinks mostly 90ml she is a snacker so if she wants her milk then give it to her. She wakes up at night twice (1:30 and 5:30) again last month I was told that’s fine as some baby’s wake up often some don’t. But the HV today said to cut down the 1:30 bottle and offer water instead, she added the first three nights will be difficult as baby may cry for her milk but try to stick to it. I mean I can’t let my baby cry if she’s hungry for her milk. I feel terrible and guilty already that I may not be offering her enough solids, but I am trying my best. The timings are hit and miss, my LG prefer to have her nap from 12-2pm so lunch will be after she wakes up, and then dinner will be late. Because she has late lunch she’s not always hungry for dinner. And after naps i giver her milk first before giving any solids/ snacks, is that wrong? I only give her milk because i know her hunger cues for milk. And when she refuses any solids throughout the day it really stresses me out… I am so confused 😭😭😭😭😭😭

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You’re not doing anything wrong. You know your baby best 🤍 it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job xxx

I wouldn’t stress I think some HV’s tend to give their personal opinion sometimes which isn’t always right. It sounds like you’re doing perfectly fine and giving your baby what she needs when she needs it. Eventually she will eat more, but it only makes it harder if you stress or try to force her. I would definitely try offering solids after naps before the milk. My LG is very on and off, some days she likes her food and other days she doesn’t and has more milk, I’ve learnt to just go at her pace. She also has a late lunch so sometimes won’t have dinner, or might just snack for dinner. If she has breakfast and one good meal a day I’m happy. They’re just babies and learning for the first time. Don’t bring yourself down, sounds like you’re doing perfectly fine ❤️

If your LO is gaining weight, don't worry - you know your baby best ❤️ is she having some solids - yes. Is she having some water - yes. Is milk currently her main source of nutrition and energy - yes. You do you 😊 if she wants milk, give her milk. Ultimately the main thing is that she is fed. Everything else will come in her own time! Apart from the morning bottle / breakfast, I've started giving our LO solids before milk and found it has helped regain her appetite and love for food after she was poorly a few weeks ago! There's no right or wrong with which way round you do it 😊

I wouldn’t even cut down the milk! If she’s happy let her be, it’s your baby your choice. My son has 6 6oz in a 24 hour period plus his meals but he gets fussy so if he refuses I don’t push it and I will give him a snack in the day. But he refuses the water, we have his development check next weekend and I have no concerns so if they start pushing them on me she will be told. Problem is a lot of HV are wrong in the advice they give and I don’t trust a word they say, especially after they told me to stop sterilising after 6 months. You know your baby you do what you feel like you need to do. If you’re both happy with your routine stick to it!

You are doing great. It’s moms job to offer solids, baby’s job to decide how much to eat. Keep offering and encouraging more solids and goal is to over time decrease milk, but do what works for you - you don’t have to make any fast changes

Ignore HV and give that baby her milkies 🥲 seriously though, that’s one person’s opinion. Doesn’t mean they are right and I bet if you saw a different HV they would advise differently.

Also remember - do you see 18 year olds going around drinking bottles of formula and not eating solids? It will happen in its own time, don’t stress x

@Amina thank you, you’re right I need to go at her pace and not stress out xx

@Yasmin thank you I’ll try giving solids before milk x

@Tiffany that’s what I’m thinking, I don’t want to cut down her milk if it keeps her happy and settled Don’t want the poor thing to be hungry and have a sip of water then go back to sleep.

@Christina definitely different HV give different advice, last time a different HV told me till LO is 1 years old her main source of nutrients is from milk so keep offering milk whenever she wants and offer solids as well so she gets some nutrients and gets used different tastes and textures. That’s what put me down made me feel like I’ve been doing something wrong!

All of these comments are right, you know your own little one and see her every day when your HV doesn't. Go with your gut! My LO was waking at night at about the same times, normally around 2am and 5:30am - she wasn't waking because she was hungry but because she knew she'd get a cosy cuddle and get fed! So at 9 months I started to stop feeding her when she woke at 2am. Instead I pick her up and just hold her and sing to her. It took her about a week of crying but then she learned to stop waking! I think she learned "there's no point waking up!" She now sleeps through most nights (10 months)

@Sinthuja don’t feel down mama, not even the “professionals” can agree and give the same information. Do what’s right and working for you and your baby 🩷

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