All day tantrum

My son has an on going ear infection which is affecting his hearing, whenever he has something wrong his behavior is unbearable hitting, throwing things, hurting his sister for the smallest of problems which I could resolve if he would tell me. I do feel for him and understand as an adult how we feel when something is uncomfortable or hurts however he can talk extremely well and always tells me when he doesn’t like something or he’s hurting but not if he feels unwell just plays up. When he is in these tantrums the screaming is hell. I have tried so many things and remain calm taking my daughter out of the situation sometimes too late she is already upset. Tonight he had calmed down by bath time then decided he wasn’t having a bath and kicked off again telling me he’s not bathing with his sister. (I do dinner bath bed alone every night) I took his clothes on and put him in kicking and screaming washed him then got him out, as his sister was already in there and he wanted me to leave her there. all day I have cut the sandwiches wrong, he wants to eat on the sofa when he isn’t allowed and I have had enough today I am not going to be told what we are doing anymore today. (Although I didn’t give in then either but always compromise) Sorry for the essay but what would you have done?
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I'm sorry for the stress you are having now, I don't have a solution per say, but my son is the same currently, he is coming down with something. He doesn't communicate the problem and acts up too, he would be non stop all day. Tries extra hard for attention and does anything to try get it. Feels like I'm doing everything wrong, he's extra rude, demanding, hits out/spits. I try and diffuse it with a cuddle, asking him what hurts (doesn't tell me though), find a game we can play together that he usually likes doing. Turn something I would like him to do into a game. For instance he would not get changed for no one a few mornings ago, running away, throwing the clothes away, I made it into a race which helped. A few Santa bribes as well for the time of year. 🤣 But unfortunately, until they will communicate I think it's their way to express something's wrong. But completely on the same wave length it's exhausting. Maybe try GP and they can see if he needs medicine or anything 😊

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