Does anyone feel pressured to visit people/have people come stay?

We don’t live near family and I feel my partner puts a lot of pressure on me to have us visit his family or they come here to stay on the weekend. One of his parents lives 3 hours away who keep insisting we come stay with them, we would only be able to stay one night with partners work so a 6 hour round trip with a baby who hates the car seat, bringing his crib etc just isn’t worth the hassle. Not only that, they drink quite a bit & it’s not something I want my baby around. I’m burnt out looking after a baby by myself all week it’s the last thing I want to do on my weekend. but my partners insisting “we need to make the effort” even though I don’t feel they make the effort for us (they’ve seen him 2 times in 10 months - they have zero commitments but still I don’t have expectations or put any pressure on them to visit). Im quite a private person, I don’t want to stay out of my house, or have my weekends spent with people always staying here. Of course I’m open to visits but I’m just starting to feel like my life isn’t my own and I’m expected to do these things now I have a baby it’s making me really anxious… I would like to spend the majority of my weekends as our little family but my partners seems more bothered about the babies relationship with his family than the 3 of us which is upsetting. Am I wrong for feeling that I don’t have to bring my baby to see everyone? I’m tired.

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You have a small child… if they want to see them they should be the ones travelling. No you’re not wrong. At the end of the day once you brought a child into this world you become a family unit. Your family unit aka you, your partner and your child are no. 1 priority…. No one else. Tell him you’re happy for them to visit anytime they like but you will no longer be travelling with your child. You do not need the extra stress.

I should add my in laws are a 20 min drive, which is no bother. My parents live an hour and a half away and I have went down once when I was pregnant with my second. My parents have always came to us.

With Children you have so much planning and organising to do and to ensure you haven’t forgot anything. Needing to stop multiple times on the way. As adults you get in the car, jump into a shop and get lunch with no planning needed. You can do the 3 hr stretch with no breaks if you want. They should be making the effort. So sorry for my multiple replies but it actually is annoying me how they are treating you and your partner should be on your side not his parents.

No you are totally right I would hate this. People should come to you (if you want them to) but weekends are our only time as a 3 and for me its the only time I get a break to be on my own while my husband has the baby, so we would usually do something altogether but I also get time to go and have a bath or go out on my own for a little while.

My parents are in Scotland and they’d never expect me to go to them & if I do go home they have everything there & ready for baby eg cribs sterilisers toys bath so for me it’s home away from home. They should defo come to you 100% !!!! Think my parents come every 3/4 weeks

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