Helping my husband give better sex lol
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@Lyss thank you!! This is really helpful!! Yes I’ve tried just one toy, sometimes he uses it on me, but I feel embarrassed to ask him to do it. I’ll definitely try to build it up during the day. Thank you!
I agree with Lyss...timing is everything. I would suggest approaching him on the weekend nights when he's not too tired from working all day. I think that your schedule has to be worked around more than his, bc he has weekends off and we all know that babies don't take any days off, LoL. I think that you should start off by admitting that this is an awkward conversation to take some of the edge off. I think admitting that you're both new to this and you're not 100% skilled at it yet addresses the elephant in the room and opens up the possibility of an honest conversation. Ask him what he likes. Ask him if there's anything that he would like for you to do that you haven't tried yet. Start by allowing him to talk about what he wants first before you tell him what changes/new experiences you'd like. That will be less threatening to him, bc conversations like this tend to make a man feel inadequate. (continued...)
Let's be honest... every man wants to please his partner &wants her to think that he's the most sexy, desirable, amazing lover in the world. He knows that you're not feeling that way about him right now & he's probably really embarrassed about his lack of skill. He knows that you're not finishing & he probably doesn't really know what to do about that, so it's possible that he's avoiding having sex at all because he feels like a failure at it. I would be careful what words you use. Instead of saying that you're both not good at sex, I would say that you're not skilled at it yet. Emphasis on the word YET. Let him know that there's no pressure on your end for results, you just want to play & have fun sex with him. You'll find your groove with what works for getting you satisfied. Most women don't orgasm from penetration alone. (continued...)
Toys are great for getting the job done. You don't have to be shy about it... after he's finished, you just reach into your nightstand drawer & declare "It's my turn😘!" He can either help with the toy itself, or you can control the toy and he can stimulate you in other ways that you like, whether that's kissing or touching you in other places, etc. I think that it's a beautiful thing that you waited for each other, but now you're married and it's a good thing to have healthy married sex. Learning can be a lot of fun if you let it be! Good luck!!! Let us know how it turns out!💗
@Giavanna thank you so much!! I love my husband, and he can please me well when he really tries 😂 which is like on my birthday and anniversary. I don’t think he realizes that I never get fully there. But that is so smart asking him what he wants before I tell him what he needs to change
If he’s made it very clear he doesn’t want to have sex at night and you do something to try and coerce him into it you have to be prepared to be turned down. I think that would be a massive hit to your self esteem if you put effort into it and he still says no, so just be mindful of that. I agree with the above posters, timing is everything. If you want to initiate do it on his off days. Surprise him by just going down on him. Bring a toy with you when you do it and hand it to him. He’ll get the hint that way. Guide his hands, mouth, etc. You don’t need to have a full on conversation about sex. Plus it’s very hard to do that without damaging a man’s ego. You have to tread lightly and one wrong word can have harmful effects. I recommend just guiding. Men aren’t stupid. If you hand him a toy while ur going down on him he’ll know you want it. If you guide his hand a certain way he’ll do it. Flip into a position you want and he’ll follow your lead. Men want their women satisfied.
@Alyson thank you!! That makes so much more sense
@Helen how do i introduce this without him wondering how/why i got it? 😅 also how do i buy this without him getting a notification 🤣 or should i just buy it and tell him i got something for us to try?
My husband is very open minded but I understand no every husband is the same, just tell him that you find it on Amazon and want to try it together as a couple for Christmas night!
@Helen okayyy thank you!
You need to sit down with him and talk to him in advance before sex and explain how you feel and what you would like in the bedroom. Ask him what would be a good compromise of when to have intimate moments. Also recommend building intensity through the day. Send a sexy text in the morning when he’s at work. Maybe send a nude around lunch time. Build up the anticipation. But talk it out with him first so he understands what you want! Have you figured out what you like by yourself so that you can communicate what you like to him? Have you considered toys? Dame.com has some good toys!