Need Advice

So my husband and I both work from home and same jobs , we have 2kids both 1.5yr old and less than 1yr old, I hold both kids while working at same time while sometimes when I have meetings and he doesn’t he might help hold them for max 20-30mins for me to get done with meeting, this doesn’t happen everyday as most days I hold them even while in meeting, it is very difficult for me because both are babies and need 100% attention and I still have to think of making lunch every day, do laundry, clean the house the kids mess up, most days I’m over exhausted and frustrated I know I’m not the best mom to my kids as sometimes I scream in my frustration and when I tell my husband this things he tells me we are in this together but I feel alone, when I tell him to take one kids with him to work he says he won’t be able to work holding the kids but I do this everyday, I feel like I’m drowning, sometimes he helps hold them for me to shower, cook and have meetings sometimes so how best can I tell him I need more to feel we are in this together without sounding ungrateful, because if I tell him I feel I’m doing this alone , he is going to think but he is helping and I’m not recognizing his efforts , how can I express what I need without downplaying his efforts.. I want to get our kid in daycare, he says no he doesn’t trust daycare, I want to hire a babysitter but my pay alone won’t cover the cost and he discourages me while assuring me that he is in this with me but his actions and what I feel says otherwise.. I’m stressed too much.