Gosh. This was not a message I needed to wake up to today.
My husband is currently out of the country for a family event. I’m not there because we didn’t want our two tiny kids getting sick. We’ve been together for going on 10 years.
He’s not the kind of guy to text much, which doesn’t bother me, but the message he sent me today was not what I wanted to wake up too. He sent a picture of us from 2017 during our first trip to India. With it he said look at this hottie. I responded with that’s depressing. They he said I still love you lots.
I’m honestly upset. We started having kids in 21 and three years and two kids later and everything about me is different.
I’m 50lbs heavier than I want to be. My hair is starting to turn white, my boobs aren’t nice anymore (to big and sad), I have diastasis recti, lots of stretch marks and loose skin. I stay at home with our kids but I miss working (mostly because I miss actually being good at something) but I don’t want to work and split my attention like that. I’m exhausted and I’m not as nice as I used to because of it. At the end of the day every nerve I have is fried from dealing with my kids.
He’s gained a little weight too, which he’s really upset about. He’s only gained 20lbs but since he’s shorter it looks like more.
I’m really just venting because I don’t want to ruin his trip by being upset. I just didn’t want to wake up to that kind of message today.
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I've always struggled with my weight and self-image/-confidence. So I know where you're coming from. If you need to talk or just want to vent then you can message me.
I can totally understand why it would upset you, but I can understand him too. Women go through insane transformation when becoming a mother mentally and physically and men unfortunately don’t get it. They miss us young free and beautiful, someone they fell in love with, someone who they ran free and wild with. It doesn’t meant your husband doesn’t like your appearance all means that he misses carefree you. Maybe try to surprise him with a date or something you used to do before kids. Get someone to watch your babies grow few hours.
All I read is you're a woman now and even more beautiful because you actually have life experience under your belt now. You're reading into this wayyy too much. We grow and change with our partners, it's part of life. That was really sweet of him to send that and reminisce on those nostalgic days, I didn't take it as he thinks you were hotter then than you are now, now you're absolutely 200x more hot to him because you created his family. I promise.