AITAH for not wanting to go anywhere when sd is here?
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@SeaSea I'm so sorry to hear you're going through the same thing. I have also completely disconnected from him and nacho parenting my SD. My kids are my only priority right now and I don't feel bad about it.
What worked for me was making sure I had stuff planned for my kiddos when SD wasn’t there and when SD was here I’d make sure my kids were doing some fun activities (doesn’t have to cost money, could even be going for a walk) My husband did a complete 360. Sometimes they don’t learn until it’s them that’s the odd one out.
I can relate to this unfortunately. Not so much that he wants to go out and do things when they are here but I can just feel a major change in his energy. I often feel like he prioritizes them over our kids. Anyway I have recently promised myself I wouldn’t plan my life around them and when they are here. I used to not plan or do anything solo when they were here. I’m not saying I’ll intentionally plan things the entire time they are here but if an opportunity arises I won’t decline! I agree that just focusing on you and your children right now is key but I would definitely try to talk through it. Maybe you can try therapy.
Yes, therapy! We did a few sessions with a blended family therapist and it helped us when we got heated to have a neutral person listening and giving us feedback.
It’s so nice to hear this is a reoccurring/ normal thing! My partners quite similar, not quite to that extreme. But does always try to have something fun planned when he’s here. It bothers me to a certain extent but I just think he wants his boy to come round as he went through a stage of not wanting to come at all. So he tries to make it fun. However my/ our baby is my priority so I make sure I plan stuff for us to do that I think she’ll like whether he’s with us or not.
@Court I like that, I know that's what our family needs right now .
I can relate to this . I tried to voice my opinion but nothing changed until I started making plans with my daughter . I made the plans and let him know / invited him (and step daughter when she was over) . He then started to see how many pics he wasn’t apart of and while I can’t say he fully gives the same energy he does when step daughter is here , I will say I know he is trying ..
Sending hugs cuz I know this sucks. My boyfriend does something similar and I have completely disconnected from him even when his son is here. Unless his son needs something from me and asks I don’t engage. I can’t imagine having more than my one son with him still acting this way. I know this doesn’t help and probably isn’t the answer but I’d love to hear what others suggest as well.