In laws
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You will have to advocate for yourself and your baby. What they did to you in pregnancy is shocking and they’re continuing to control you, baby and husband. Lay down your boundaries. Talk to your husband and make plans for the summer instead? Come with some sort of compromise.
Can you fly and rent a car when you get there? I would be firm with boundaries when you’re there but also taking advantage of a break.
Only do what is comfortable for you and your baby! To be honest your baby won't remember this visit so what harm is it to wait till they are a little bigger.
Do not go, your babies safety is more important. They will have to come to you for now!
How have they managed to get him a passport without your permission??? I would be standing my ground and ensuring that until they can show they respect your boundaries, and your husband can also show he will protect your boundaries too! Then your baby will be staying at home with you. Newborns shouldn't be in the car seat more than half an hour, and he's going to need feeding every 2 hours, so it would literally take you all day to drive! I would leave it until at least 6 months when he'll be ok in the car seat for longer, breastfeeding will be more established and you also will be more healed too! I really hope you can make your husband see your point of view, he really should be in your corner!
@Kim I’ve already tried to suggest flying or even doing the Eurostar train instead as it is significantly less time to get there and I can attend to baby much easier but my husband is more concerned with not being able to bring stuff back from France on a train 😩 I have no control with this and he’s not willing to compromise
@incognito could you fly by yourself with the baby and get him to pick you up?
@Charlotte only one parent is needed to order a passport but because he’s not British and you need a uk passport to apply for babys he literally just took mine and put my details in on my behalf without telling me until after
@Kim I definitely don’t feel comfortable flying on my own with him and I feel like he would just scream the whole time due to the pressure
@Hannah oh yes they are very controlling even before I gave birth demanded that I go visit them whilst almost 8 months pregnant and in so much pain as I had pelvic girdle pain. They found it rude when all I wanted to do was lay down and rest instead of going out with them. When they first visited I was a week pp and they made me walk around a shopping centre for 3 hours even tho I was still hardly able to walk because they wanted to get out with the baby. They’ve even started making plans as to which holidays we need to be with them. It’s so hard to like them and want them around when they do stuff like this but I’m just see as rude if I speak up at all.