School issues (UK) sorry for the long post

Yes, they can exclude a reception child. They can also put them on a part-timetable although they're only supposed to do it with parents agreement it is something that they do pressure parents into accepting. You can ask them to start the process for an EHCP although you generally need a high threshold of evidence for this but it can't help to get the ball rolling

If you're on Facebook, there are lots of good groups that can help you with the process. Groups such as "SEND reform", "Not fine in school" and "SEND & EHCP Advice & support"

I found this book extremely helpful with so many actionable steps and tips and techniques for adhd. How not to murder your adhd kid. Audible and actual book. Highly recommend

I would begin the diagnosis process. I can't remember what age this is from for a school referral but you could also look at Right to Choose through your GP. We are on the waiting list for my son who is 9 and there is a 2 year wait in my area. If the school feel they cannot meet need, then there is an argument for you to begin the EHCP process so I would ask to meet with the SENCO to discuss this and request that they begin collecting evidence. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. It is their job to support him - you just need to work together on a plan for him. Feel free to message me if you would like to chat about any of it. I've been through a lot with my son and his school over the last couple of years.

@Melissa I would however some family members will not be nice and might see the comments or groups I have joined. My niece has an echp so they are not very sympathetic towards us.

@Melissa do they do this quickly or easily? Our HV (her son has ADHD) said she will speak to the school and she can help start the process. This was before I knew about the kicking at school. I did speak to gp they don't have a form etc for children so I need to make a list of symptoms. My husband is in the waiting list in our area and he just gets push further and further back.

@Ghitta thank you will look into it.

@Terri I am embarrassed about him kicking staff. He has made sorry card tonight. I have spoken to the senco at the start of term re the toilet issues and I did raise concerns of ADHD and asked they let me know what they think. However perhaps I need to go in again.

I know how hard it is when their behaviour is extreme like that. The fact that he can reflect afterwards is good though - he can see that his actions were wrong. It's a start! Request a meeting with the SENCO. It sounds like he is displaying plenty of behaviours that are concerning at school. Do you see these at home?

@Terri yes we do, they did get better over the summer. Recently he been a little bit worse but still better than before. He doesn't kick us but he does hit me a bit when he frustrated. The school have only told us snippets of information and in mid November I asked and apparently he hasn't been emotional apart from going in. Perhaps he becomes more comfortable.

School is a big stressor for my son. It's a really hard place for a child with additional needs. I would get that meeting sorted and find out exactly what is going on. They can talk about when his behaviour is worst and you can try to see what his triggers are. For example, my son becomes more dysregulated towards the end of a term, when he is more tired. He also gets it when he comes home from visiting his dad and there is a change in environment. The school should work with you and they should put in place some strategies to support him in the classroom. You might have to fight a bit for the support. It took school a long time to admit that my son's behaviour was not typical. He was very good at masking at school and I used to get the backlash at home when he had held it in all day.

Unfortunately nothing is quickly done or easy with out differently wired kids. You start the process as early as possible, write down all evidence to support your claim, use resources online to build your case and keep detailed notes on behaviour and time it usually goes pear shaped, engage ALL the resources you can - HV, school, GP.