Dog mom identity crisis

Ever since my baby was born (shes 6 wks) I feel differently about my chihuahua. Ive had him since I was 16 and hes 14 now. He was given to me by uncle. I never asked him for a puppy but I was a pretty depressed teenager and my family thought it would help. For a while, it did. But I didn't know anything about dogs, nor did my family but we did our best to train him and I think we did ok. Hes does overly bark and since I moved out of my family home at 21, hes had potty training issues. No matter how late we would walk him or what we tried, he often refuses night walks (even in really nice weather) and he always pees somewhere in the middle of the night. It doesnt help that we live in New England and the problem is much worse in the winter.. We discussed with vets but they always shrugged it off. Anyway, I am a new first-time mom and at the risk of sounding like a terrible person and dog owner, i am over it. Ive loved him once but I am too sleep deprived and focused on my baby to deal with this anymore. The barking, the peeing, the smells, the aggression towards vistors, all of it. I take responsibility for his behavior and I wish I could have brought up a better dog. Life happened so fast in general I couldnt keep up with his needs. I feel sorry for that.. At the same time, it just doesn't feel sanitary anymore. He will pee and track his pee around with his little paws, and our room is carpeted and all i can smell is dog pee. Ive mentioned to my partner that I wouldn't mind finding a new home for him and he says hes disappointed in me for feeling this way. Its 3 am right now and we were just woken up by the sound of him peeing on her crib. I dont believe I have the time or energy or really the desire to correct this behavior and I am sorry to say that as soon as my baby was born I lost the affection and patience needed to deal with him.. Does the happen with new moms and difficult pets?

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Awww sounds like your dog is jealous. I sometimes feel the same way about my kitty not that I don’t love him but sometimes he’s just really bad and makes lots of noise that has woken up the baby but ik at the end he’s just playing so I keep him out whenever my baby is sleeping. It’s understandable you feeling that way and maybe it’s the postpartum as well. Maybe involve your pet more and show them the most affection you can because they need to feel loved too. Ask your husband to be more attentive with him as well right now that you’re tired and sleep deprived. Maybe if you give your puppy away you may regret it as he’s been part of your life for years. Just a suggestion, this phase doesn’t last forever

If I were you I would crate him at night, so at least the mess is contained and pick up his water a couple hours before bed! Crate training does wonders, start feeding him in there with the door open, if he isn’t food motivated use high reward treats and NEVER use the crate as punishment, he should like it in there. I feel like this is worth a go as it would be cruel at this stage in his life to give him up. You’ve got this and with support from your husband with either taking baby after work or doing this training himself I’m sure things will get better! failing all that you could confine him to one room at night with his bed in, like the bathroom for easy clean up, dogs thrive from routine! good luck :)

Awww, he's elderly and jealous of the baby, and it is normal for him to be a certain way because you're not giving him attention. Did you introduce the babies stuff to him before you your child home, including an outfit or two that your child has worn before coming home? My dog trainer told me it's a good idea to do so and when I did it my dog changed in a week or two and when the baby came home she asked for a little more attention but was more curious than ever. My LO pulled her ear and tail, and I gave my dog a lot of gratitude where it was because she didn't bite the baby in defense. Like you, Said, you are tired and a new mom, it's only going to get harder, you just need to find yourself a time, need, or balancement. You can try dog crate training, but because he is too old and didn't do it younger, it's going to be a bigger fight. As for the carpet and the smell, it is going to smell and be unsanitary, which means you have to do more to keep the place clean

Cleaning producing and a consistent cleaning is a must since you have an animal and carpet because pretty soon your baby is going to be needing tummy time, crawling and walking and you'll need to figure out what you need to do in order for the baby not to play in the dog pee and poop

Don’t feel bad, life happens, I have a senior dog as well whose whining and barking got even worse! Also he created this new habit that he peeps every time we have dinner. Trust me it gets SO annoying to have to bend down and change his diaper while pregnant!! Everything feels annoying. But that’s our hormones feeling that way. If u need to find a loving home for ur dog go for it but if there’s a way to keep ur dog let him be part of the family. it’ll get easier. 🩷

It happens, I thought I’d have to find a new place for my dog. He’s too excited, he’s 90lbs, he has a crazy deep bark and he drive me crazy. I came home from the hospital as a single mom. My mom and sisters were here but they aren’t strong enough to hold him and he doesn’t listen to my family at all. I got inside first and he jumped on me, right on my C-section cut. I went to put him up on me he just barked till I got him. He was too jumpy and too in the baby’s face at first. He started pooping in the house on the stairs lol idk how he did that without busting himself. Now, he’s so amazing with my daughter and lets her climb all over him and pull on him and be rough with him and he HATES when we walk without him. His barking has gotten pretty annoying cause he’ll bark when he doesn’t get what he wants and I never felt annoyed by it before because he was my first baby. But I love him so much I can’t get rid of him but my sympathy for him is less, he knows what is okay and not okay.

If you are really wanting to rehome due to the lack of love, then finding him a new home isn’t a bad thing. If you want to correct the behavior you can start by trying to crate train especially at night, and then possibly finding a trainer to help with the bad behaviors. Personally him peeing on the baby’s bed is an unacceptable behavior to me and if I didn’t have the heart, time, or energy to train him I’d find him a new loving home.

To answer your question… YES it’s very normal to suddenly find your pets annoying after the birth of your first kid. It happened to me too. I have grown up with animals and I am a retired emergency vet technician. So I’ve worked with animals my entire life. I love my animals. But since the birth of my daughter, they drive me nuts. I still love them, but they annoy me. I was told it gets better with time (as your kid gets older). However, my animals don’t pee in the house. That would be a hard no for me. ESPECIALLY since you have carpet. Your baby is going to crawl soon and will smell like urine. However, nobody is going to adopt a 14 year old dog (with issues no less). My suggestion is like a previous commenter… crate him at night. He might whine at first but eventually he will get used to it. Take him pee right before bed. Then right before you get into bed, into the crate he goes. Get a large enough crate that you can put a puppy pee pad on half of it and a dog bed on the other half.

@Angela I agree with everything you said but I think that it could get better because you start sleeping better later on and she’ll be able to have some more energy over time and the baby won’t be getting fed as often as a newborn, and she will be able to take them out on walks together if the dog starts adjusting as well. But like you said it’ll get easier by finding time need and balance as time passes or else it will get harder for her

I 2nd everything @Caitlin said

@Cindy I pray for her, in the beginning it's never easy