Keepsake ornament for lost baby..

This is the first year since the birth of our first child that we’re putting up our Christmas tree so I’m buying the keepsake ornaments for each of our girls’ births. My first pregnancy was a twin pregnancy and we unfortunately lost twin A. It was pretty hard on us but due to others it became a lot harder. I want to get an ornament for our lost baby but my husband doesn’t think it’s a great idea. Some of our family members aren’t exactly gentle with sensitive subjects and he’s afraid they will mention it if they visit. Because we’ve healed from that loss as much as we can he thinks it may open old wounds. Now I’m torn and don’t know if I should order it or not

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Personally, when I had a miscarriage I made a little jar, full of paper origami stars (through out the pregnancy I was making the stars with the intention of making 100) I stopped making them when the miscarriage started, but I've kept all the stars. The hospital bracelet I had in the hospital from that event is secured around the jar, with the name written in it that we had picked out. I find having the opportunity to talk about it actually helps me. Rather than opening old wounds it's more like helping the scar heal. So ultimately, it's all up to you and how you think you may feel about it if it were to be brought up in conversation

If you needed to, you could always put it up when those people are going to be visiting.

I would get it for you. if you aren’t ready to have it up where others may see/comment, then you can keep it separate or have it for when you are ready <3 I’m sorry your family has made it harder for you but don’t let them keep you from honoring and mourning your child how you wish <3

We pulled the plug in our daughter at 4 months old. We still include her in family pictures, get her ornaments, toys for her birthday/Christmas and donate them, if we can we even do an Easter basket. We still include her, but most of it is in her honor. For her birthday out new tradition is getting a country cookie for all of us (including her) and taking it to her graveside, singing her happy birthday, and eating our cookies either still at her graveside or in the car (her plot is right next to the driving path). It hurts my husband and I more to not include her than it does to include her. She's still ours, no matter how little time we got with her.

We have a normal tree, or well a tree decorative how I like with matching ornaments and what not. But this year I’m getting a small tree that I’ve not decided on a location for to put our milestone ornaments. As some of them I hope to pass on to my kids when they have their own families and what not. If they want them. But you could do that if you’d like and then if it’s small enough you could tuck the tree away and bring it back out.

I just got a little angel ornament for my lost boy no questions as it fits in with christmas but we know it's for him x

You could make the angel of the top of the tree representative of him! They don’t have to know it’ll just be an angel tree topper

Tell everybody to kick rocks, your and your husband house and you get to do what you want in your heart. But get your husband's support. He's right but ask him to stand by you anyway and that others should get to dictate how you mourn and celebrate your child

You could compromise and perhaps put one in your room. Make it special for you while respecting your husband’s side of things. He may even grow to appreciate it.

You should buy the ornament OP. In general it’s better to talk about things than keeping them inside. It really helps. I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t know of a greater pain.

My first daughter has an ornament 🤍 It says her name and “Sleep in heavenly peace” 😭🤍

We got an ornament (we haven’t put it on the tree yet i bought it last year) in honor of my husband’s first born child he had with his ex wife. Unfortunately, the child passed away in the hospital after I believe a few days. I bought it because we agreed to acknowledge all our children but we haven’t put it up yet. I told him when he’s ready he can add it to the tree. We got two one with his name and birth stats (because we have one for all the kids) and then a memory one.

If you really want to get an ornament then go for it. I personally don’t feel comfortable when people ask about my miscarriage and usually start to cry when i think about it. Also only a few close friends and family know about it so I wouldn’t get something placed in the common area, instead I would maybe get a keepsake and keep it in my bedroom.

If you want to get an ornament you could get something subtle that people won't mention, e.g a star, a stuffed toy, just something subtle that isn't obviously for that reason. It will still have the same meaning to you

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