infidelity

my partner told me he was watching porn throughout our relationship after i asked him about it. (he was the one that told me that porn while in a relationship is cheating and that he doesn't want me watching it and that he won't watch it). he also told me he was having lustful thoughts of his ex up until my 6th month of pregnancy. that hurt me so much because in his terms, he cheated. but then about a month ago, he told me that he had called a girl pretty while we were together. skipping all the useless details and just getting to the point of this story, it wasn't just him calling another girl pretty. he was absolutely disgusting. he was telling her how beautiful she was, asking her if she wanted to see him masturbate and stick a dildo up his a$, asked to see her feet multiple times, then called her for an HOUR, then messaged her about how he liked it when she called him a good boy. then he went out of his way to go on an omegle type of site and look for women on there to cheat on me with. he lied in the past and told me some girl randomly sent nudes, but he was actually asking for them, and was saying very sexual things to her. and then i saw a message that made my heart absolutely drop. "i can send you a video of me and my fiancé f*cking hehe". WHAT???? one of them was 5 days after we found out we were pregnant, and the other was less than a month before i gave birth. my son is now 3 months old and i want to forgive him and move on, but i feel so stupid and betrayed. i have nowhere to go, no job, no car, no license, nothing. i'm nothing without him and i don't know what to do. i feel trapped and hurt. i was having so many health issues that could've killed me and/or the baby at anytime and he knew that. i was struggling with my mental health because i felt ugly and like i wasn't enough and i was about to have my whole life changed and id never be the same person again. and he went and did this. while i was still trying to have sex with him because he wanted it and would get upset when i didnt, even though it felt like lava was being poured inside of my vagina and i was being torn apart while also having muscle and joint pain. but i guess that wasn't enough. i guess i was ugly. i don't ever want to be pregnant again because he ruined it for me. and for some idiotic reason, i want to stay. what would i even do if i decided to leave? i have nothing

Show your support

Do you have a supportive family? If my daughter or my sister is suffering from a man that you described, I will tell her, come back to me my love. Now that you are a mum, you will understand the love as a parent ❤️ Your baby is 3 months, still very little, believe when I tell you that motherhood can S**k until they are 2 years old 🥲 after that they become more independent. So you are going to need lots of support until then. I think your baby will prefer to see the love of their life happy ❤️ hugs

He's telling you, by his actions that he doesn't care about you. You need space and time, he needs to choose his own actions. He can leave or go to therapy and own up to his behavior. He's been wildly out of line and needs to face the consequences. Do you have any family in the area? If not, having a local church can help you. But it needs to be a healthy church that prioritizes loving people and sharing Jesus. Not rules, but Jesus. The Bible is important, but Jesus wanted to love people and serve them. Look for that

I’m so sorry. The way he is treating you is horrible. I would be horrified and so uncomfortable if my partner acted like this or shared intimate things about us with others. Do you love him? Do you want to make it work? Is he normally kind to you? Does he ever treat you well? This is a weird question-but... Is it possible he has a sex addiction? If he’s normally kind but acting like this, it could be an addiction. If you want to make it work you could ask him to start counseling. That’s a big if. It doesn’t sound like you’re happy with him

I’m sorry my love for what you’re going through. But let me ask you, since you posted in this group, are you saved? Do you consider yourself to be a Christian woman? (Just making sure so that I can give you the best response)