Too nice??
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I think that if the cousins are not sharing with your son, you intervene in that moment, especially in your home. You can also explain to your son that he does NOT have to share his things if he does not want to. I teach my son that he shares with kids who share with him. If they don't, we don't play with them. There are teachable moments for sharing and for standing up for yourself. It seems like your son needs to learn to stand up for himself. When he visits his cousins, make sure he has his own toys. If they want to play with his toys, they're going to have to share their toys too.
Your son sounds like a gem. Just let him be himself. You can explain to him that not everyone is as nice as he is, but that you’re proud of his thoughtfulness and kindness.
Aww your son sounds so sweet!!! It’s hard bc your son is actually being really kind. He’s so young and not yet able to understand the complexity of social interactions. You can model standing up for yourself if a situation arises or create a situation where you can express your feelings and stand up for yourself in a kind and respectful way. But-biting is a big problem. Someone needs to address that-probably the mom needs to address it if she didn’t. My 4 year old is on the other side of things and struggles with sharing and processing emotions/treatment of others. I usually ask my son how —- makes him feel. If he’s happy I let him be. If he doesn’t like what someone is saying or doing I give him ideas for ways to handle it.
If it really bothers you or you think he’s really just doing it to be included then you might want to have a conversation with him. Ex. -sometimes people have trouble sharing. if it’s something you don’t want that’s ok to let them have it. But it’s never ok to bite-I’d honestly correct that myself and tell the girl she can’t have the toy until she shows safe/kind behavior. I model it for my kids a lot especially when baby can’t talk I’ll talk for him. “Big brother is using unsafe hands. Let’s play here until he’s ready to be gentle”. It’s teaching both kids boundaries. Or -With the playground incident- those kids don’t want to play with someone new right now. What else can we do that would be fun? You want to collect sticks? What can WE do together that would be fun with these sticks. Redirect him in a way that focuses on how he can find happiness with or without the kids in a way where he’s not being mistreated.
As long as it's not bothering him, I wouldn't make a huge issue about it. (Tell your sibling/in law about the biting, of course, so they can work on sharing..) Other kids thanking him for collecting sticks is sort of a way of playing together for kids that age, especially if they don't know each other. He will find it's not an interesting/inclusive one as he gets older. For now, read him some books about sharing ( and add some nuance to the idea that "sharing is good and will make people like you." If you have it, take Rainbow Fish out of your collection. (Maybe gift it to his cousins 🤣) If you find a story where a character shares their toys but isn't immediately included or rewarded (maybe they need to ask for what they want or find a new group of friends first) add that to your story rotation for a while. Maybe do some imaginative play with his dinosaurs or trucks where one character refuses to share. (What do the other dinosaurs say? How do they all feel? What do they do next? Etc)