How?

How do you deal with feeling like you're being treated like crap by your significant other? I have been staying home with our 19 month old for about 5 months now because he needed a break from taking care of her. I do everything for her. Even when he got 2 weeks off he literally changed only 2 of her diapers. I have cooked dinner every night this week so far and I need him to watch her while I do this. Then as I'm in the middle of cooking he wants me to go to the living room and go through all these stupid instructions to get the show we've been watching together started. That means I have to leave the food burning to do this. This is every night while I cook I have to start the show. I'm fed up and i got mad because he's like go here go here like if he knows how to do why couldn't he get off his butt and do it. So it resulted in me getting called lazy and a fat ass. He's also like you're a fat ass just like your mom. Or I'm lazy like her. My mom worked her ass off for my siblings and me until her pain got so bad she just shut down and stopped. I can't ever get any cleaning done because my daughter has been going through a clingy phase and I have to pump every three hours still. She's picky and doesn't eat well. I tried giving her dinner and he refused to help grab the high chair so while I'm trying to plate dinner I have to also go grab that set that up when he plays on his phone. He gets mad when I don't want to have s** with him. But why would I want to have s** with someone who is so mean and unhelpful. He worked 8 hours today and mostly swept the floor at his work. That's it. Said it was an easy day but can't be helpful. Our daughter hasn't been sleeping well so she's up pretty late and he throws a fit if she wakes him up when shes having a meltdown and i try everything to calm her down and he bags on the wall and screams at me. Then when I finally get her to sleep he comes out where we are sleeping being a loud a**hole looking for his stuff when he should get it all around the night before. I'm just so tired of feeling so upset and mad. Am I even allowed to be mad?

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Honey, your feelings are valid. You have every right to be mad. This is not right or fair to you and your baby girl. If it were me, I would be recording some of these interactions, and getting my ducks in a row to leave. If you REALLY want to save the relationship, try couples counseling. Are you at all concerned about the lack of care or consideration for not only you, but your daughter as well? How well do you believe he actually took care of her? There either needs to be huge change on his part and a big adjustment of expectations on his end, or you have to just work harder and run yourself into the ground trying to please him. Name calling and demeaning is never ok. I feel for you ❤️ I dont know if you can message me privately, but I am here if you want or need to talk.

Dealing with the same thing. My BF lost his job right after Thanksgiving and literally does nothing while I'm still working and taking care of our 18 month old plus I'm 27 weeks pregnant.

We were cleaning out our little ones room the other day and I got called lazy cause I told him I needed to sit down for a bit

@Zea when she was first born he did wonderful with her and was so nice. Then I had to go back to work overnights and had to pump every three hours and I lost so much sleep. He did take good care of her. Video chatted every time I would pump at work. She had a terrible sleep schedule. Plus she didnt walk or do too much of the things she does now. Whenever I bring up those times he says I was lazy and did nothing for him or her while I worked. But I always took her in the room with me while he slept or even helped out when I wasn't sleeping for work. Now he acts like doing anything for her isn't part of being her parent. Ive tried talking to him. We have some really good days and then they just disappear. It's funny because he got me pregnant on purposes. He said I would of never been ready and he was.

@Cat I'm so sorry you're going through this:( i wish they had to feel exactly everything we feel. From being pregnant, giving birth, and postpartum. I couldn't even get mine to go to the ultrasound to see what our baby was going to be. He just drove me and sat in the car. Just over the weekend he claimed he cleaned the living room while I was at Walmart. I came home and I decided okay I'll move the couch to other wall to make more room for her to play he didn't even sweep behind it. I found ibuprofen pills on the floor he claimed he swept and she was playing with them. So I just fully toddler proofed the whole living room. I was expected to watch her while he played his game, keep her from touching his stuff, and make the living safer for her to play. I literally boxed all his stuff up from the living room and told him to find somewhere else for it. He had a whole room he can put all that crap in.

Oh my goodness! The book fair play. Both of you read or listen to that if you both truly want to change. He's not invested as a father. Your child only gets one childhood. He wants to game? Play games with her on the floor instead. Or play games with you ( but my hubby and I are both long time nerds and enjoy gaming together . Or game when she's asleep and he's awake. She's having a rough night of sleep? He could wear earplugs so it's less loud

It sounds like you guys have a few rooms. Sounds like maybe kicking him to another room might be worth your peace of mind

Im so sorry this is happening to you. Please just remember, you deserve so much better, youre a great mom and your daughter is lucky to have you.

try your best to communicate with each other and if it doesn’t work out, you just need to leave.. wishing you all the best hon.. 💞🫂 you’re a great mama. trust your instincts.

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