Rant and advice 🫠

My husband stays up from 10:30pm to 3-4am playing Xbox with his friends and headset on every single night not really talking to me. I read (my hobby) or do school work during this time but there are nights, I try to find a movie he likes or plan other activities we both can do. He often calls me annoying for trying to spend time together because he will either say no or maybe then when it comes to watching a movie and cuddling for example after the kids are asleep, he jumps on his game and when I ask why can’t we watch a movie together or something, that’s when he huffs and tells me I’m annoying and if I keep on, he tells me I ruin it by running my mouth and being persistent that we spend at least one night a week together. He counts us spending time together when we are on the couch with our kids running around and my sister in law sitting there, while he is sitting on his phone (almost 24/7) playing a phone game and I am watching whatever is on TV. I feel lonely and a bit neglected cause he does not understand the toll this is starting to take on our bond, relationship, and my mental health. I have tried communicating, but it never works out. When I call out his behavior, he says it’s all jokes and he can’t joke with me cause I cry about it even when I point out I’m trying to have serious conversation. *when he agrees to watch a movie he plays his phone game completely disregarding the movie and me, the only time he actually got off his game was for sex before jumping right back on Xbox* I am just not sure on how to get him to understand or even show him that sex, required errands, or family time is not couple time and that he is neglecting our relationship. Something I forgot to mention is that he sleeps until 2-4 in evening when he does not work.

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My man is the same way except he has a PC. He does the same exact thing of getting amd when I wanna spend time with him and calls me annoying. He always says that he's "joking" and that I need to grow up and learn to take a "joke". He calls me many rude names like fat, wh0r3, b!tch, etc. It's gotten to the point that I just ignore him and when he asks for something I do the same thing to him that he does and I say "I'm getting annoyed with you". He's gonna learn soon that I'm not gonna play these childish games

My ex partner was like this ☹️ My mental health dropped drastically and because I previously suffered with depression 5 years before that I knew I had to just leave I tried speaking to him about his behaviour, trying to plan fun stuff together, he either said he cba or made excuses for his 'addiction' (apparently playing on the pc 12 hours a day while he wasn't working was a way to unravel from his work stress and depression I ended up downloading loads of friend apps and making new friends and that was the only thing keeping me sane when I wasn't working but then I just left because I just felt trapped with him and degraded i didn't get or feel respected, loved and appreciated. Luckily i didn't have children with him because I think i would've felt even more tied down with him and I think his behaviour wouldve gotten worse Maybe try little outings where your family has the kids for a few hours and you go have food and try to restrict phone use? Ortold him you don't feel appreciated enough and overwhelmed?

I’d suggest something similar to Lynds, find some activities to get into. Hobbies, gym, you said reading, do you like the library or book stores? Find peace within yourself first so you’re not relying on him to give it to you. Definitely continue to try to bond and communicate, but trying to force him won’t work. Once you find your own joy and things you like to do, you’d be surprised, absence makes the heart grow fonder, some, SOME, men will realize the absence and the fact you’re enjoying yourself without them and want that time again. Nothing nasty or revengeful though, true enjoyment for yourself. That energy will relay to them. Good luck to you.

Same thing happened with me and honestly withholding sex and giving an ultimatum and schedule to fit his gaming time worked for me also I kinda lost it and kept turning the WiFi off and hiding his computer wires 🤣🤣🤣 hang in there hun if he’s not being receptive to basic communication and meeting you in the middle then he don’t really care. It’s hard forcing someone to care and actually hear you but you deserve that

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