Advice for my heart craving a sincere apology and recognition.
My child’s father and I had a domestic violence relationship for almost 3 years. Our daughter is one.
We are currently in mediation through the child support agency and so far we have had three zoom chats. I have a protection order against him until next year in August.
This is our only way of talking directly.
I hate it…I do my best to focus on our child but hes blatantly making himself seem like such a caring parent. Not acknowledging the hurt, pain or abuse he put both our child and myself through. At the same time, he’s not arguing with any of my boundaries I have put up. Examples: no posting pictures of baby on social media, supervised visits only with approved family and friends, drug and alcohol testing and therapy, anger management compliance, and to take parenting classes (and I as well).
Is it wrong for me to ask him for a formal apology and recognition for all the work I have done? All I have done for him and the baby??
Mind you, during the first meeting we had, I gave him acknowledgment for being more financially helpful (he never was when we lived together) as a way to pave a way for him to give me recognition as well…which he did not.
If it wasn’t for our child, I would have nothing to do with this man. I want our daughter to see how she is to be treated…
Show your support
It’s not wrong of you to want it or even ask for it, but the likelihood of him actually giving you what you want to very low. Plus it could cause further issues to arise.
My experience is that sometimes you have to accept an apology you’re never going to get. You can forgive and let go but never forget so YOU have the peace to move on and understand some people are committed to their misunderstanding or won’t see your perspective. And that’s okay as long as you don’t abandon your own truth. You know and that’s what matters.
Trending in our community
It's not wrong but people like that are never going to apologize unless there is something in it for them. The fact that he's respecting your boundaries and doing the work (or so it seems) I would take that as a win. I would focus more on giving yourself what you need from him. Finding that power on your own will help you let go of any expectations you hold from him. It's about your daughter and if he's doing what he needs to do and she's safe I would let it go and work on healing and moving on. It's hard but you don't need literally anything from him that you can't give yourself