Partners
Needing a moan more than anything.
Please tell me others are struggling with their other halves too? My husband and I have always bickered then quickly forgotten and laughed about it. But since having our first baby I’m recently finding myself getting more and more upset with him. He’s far from awful, but helps more when I ask and not proactively. He’s great at going to the shops for dinner, walking the dog, sometimes playing with baby, but when it comes to helping during the night, getting her to nap during the day (painful as refuses to sleep but cries from tiredness) he tends to avoid them. We sleep in separate beds so he’s not disturbed weekdays, but this continues at the weekend where I’m expected to be carer 24/7 and he enjoys his long lies. He begrudgingly agreed to sleep in the same bed last night but told me to sleep through the babies cries because he was going to sleep- she’s EBF and doesn’t settle unless fed/ rocked. When I try and speak about how I feel he shuts me down and dismisses it. He’s unable to put myself in a female’s shoes.
He’s far from the worst husband I’ve heard of, I just hoped he’d have (or try to have) more empathy and understanding.
I just think some men don’t understand how it feels to have a broken sleep every single day and fight every single nap when you know baby needs one. I also think some men freak out when baby is unsettled. My partner doesn’t do nights I wish he would but he’s a deep sleeper I mean dead to the world when he is asleep, he offers however I don’t trust him to wake up and he doesn’t when I left him with baby when he was napping and I had to come through to the bedroom when they were both in there and partner was napping. I also had to abandon my bath because my partner couldn’t calm him down when he was crying was only gone 5 min at this point. And he’s also an amazing dad on the other side and amazing partner. They just struggle to see through our eyes. However it’s really not fair your partner isn’t listening to your needs and how you feel or at least if he told you why he won’t do these things maybe the thought of it overwhelms him? Did you try doing a night with him where you both do it