Left son out..

Ur teenage son would get presents from his dad and possible aunty / uncles on that side of family but then your toddler wouldn’t … it’s nice of your partners aunty to get ur toddler a gift in the first place I guess but I suppose she probably shouldn’t have to avoid situation like this one now x

It’s a hard one I’m not sure 🤔 as a toddler will be much easier to buy for than a teenager. But I do see the left out part too

She’s not obligated too.

I can second this my almost 10 year old daughter is not my partner's but my almost 3 year old is and his dad has given our son £50 for Xmas but won't give my daughter anything even tho they have met her and speak to her thru video chat when phoning to see her brother. so I'm now having to match this and get her something out of my pocket and say it's from him just so she doesn't feel left out that he's got her brother something but not her x

@Kendra Budd maybe not but it’s just rude to leave out someone that’s part of the family?

@Hollie maybe but saying that my son should rely on gifts from his dad’s side of the family seems very segregated. They are both my kids and usually my partners family seem to embrace that quite well im just surprised she has completely left him out. What’s the reason for that? 😏

I grew up in a blended family and my step dad would never of allowed us to be treated any differently from his bio kids, but also his family would have not been as heartless or petty to do this to a child either. It’s your partners family it’s up to him to say something. If it was me I would politely return the gifts and explain you understand they did not want to get your son a gift as they don’t consider him real family but you are not raising him to feel like second class citizen in his own family.

I also have a teenage son from a previous relationship and a toddler from a different man. My teenagers grandparents always buy gifts for my toddler aswel as their grandson even tho he’s not part of that family. They treat him the same x

I understand why you would be upset to be honest. I think if it’s an aunty tho then it’s a one off & maybe she just didn’t think properly. It’s a lot to buy everyone gifts at Xmas & extended family like a nephews son as well. Did you buy the aunty a gift back? & her husband as she got you a gift just saying. It’s impossible to please everyone at Xmas coming from a big family myself of 5 siblings and from a blended family myself in my own family. I don’t expect all my family to buy my step son who is 13 as well as my son and daughter who is soon to be born. It’s a lot. If people want to give they can give what they can is the way I see it. As long as I buy my kids and step son as I always would, my dad always leaves money for them all as well and I wouldn’t expect my aunty to get them all gifts anyway. You can’t control others but spoil your kids yourself then they have gifts they won’t even notice 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Sam that is so nice of your exes parents to that. Obviously that has never happened and never will I’m afraid as we ended on bad terms and don’t speak 😒 I wish my situation was like this x

They really are the most amazing people and have never treated me any differently. I’m lucky like you say it won’t be the same for everyone :(

Misreads that thought it said it was NOT ok what she did

@Rosie yes I agree but it would be better to just get the kids something and not the adults instead of leaving a child out that’s gonna watch us open them and realise there’s not one for him. It’s just rude I feel x

I find that rude personally, we gift all children in my family, whether they are related to us or not. That said, maybe it's just because he is a teenager, some people will only gift to young children. In any case, I don't think you can say anything to her though, it's already a nice gesture that she didn't had obligation to do. Hard one😕

@Kate so you think it’s off she didn’t get him something too? I don’t expect anything from anyone especially not if they are going to just buy “certain” people one cos they see them more x

My mom and step dad got married when I was 10, and his parents have always treated me as a grand daughter (it may help I also have the same name as his mom lol) Grandma D made me and my brother a stocking to match the family and they were actually the only grandparents at my wedding, not including a ‘step’ child is petty imo, family is family and it reflects more on the aunt that they would exclude a child b/c of ‘blood’ (but I am no contact with most of my bio family so I am biased)

Yeah when you put it like that I totally see your point. My step son spends Xmas day with his mom and family then Boxing Day with us so it’s different situation our end but I understand why you would be upset about that & would probably feel the same if it was me in your shoes. Difficult one. Blended family’s are not easy at times x

@Marie too late 🙈 I’ve already messaged to say thank you but didn’t see one for my son. If she takes that badly that’s her problem: I’d rather not get anything than being unfair whether he’s a teen or not. £5 in a card could have been just fine if she didn’t know what to get him. As you said rude x

I find it rude. It's nothing about being an 'obligation' it's about being a kind human being. Who would leave a child out and think that's okaay? I would absolutely have messaged and said what you have!! A selection box would have sufficed in my eyes, anything. You're totally right to feel like you do x

@Amber thank you for being on my side. My partner thinks I’m being a dick and says well she doesn’t know him that well… so what he’s my child the same as the one she’s bought a gift for. It really winds me up x

It would infuriate me! Just reading your post did 🤣 My answer would be well they better try harder to get to know him because he's as much as this family as the little one is. This kind of stuff rubs me up the wrong way 🤦🏻‍♀️x

Always treat the same IMO! My MIL is the nana to only my baby (her sons only child) I have 2 older children, yet she always gets them something when she buys for the baby, and it's always equal aswell. I'm so glad I've never had to have this conversation with her!

You eldest has also merged into the family with you, you should all be treated that way. If my husbands family left my eldest out I’d be pissed because we’re all a Family unit different the first year of being a family maybe but that’s pushing it. But after I’ve had another child I don’t think that’s fair

Absolutely unacceptable I would say something to your husband and have him talk to them so they don't try to paint you as some type of drama Queen and cause further issues period I would also never accept a gift from them knowing they didn't get one for my child. It sends a message that they accept everyone but your son.

I’m aunty to 4. One of them isn’t my brothers.. it’s from my SIL previous relationship. I claim my brothers step daughter as my own niece and would never leave her out or exclude her in anything I do for the other kiddos. However, although the “aunty” isn’t obligated.. it’s still a respect thing to make sure he is included and feels like family. Regardless of it being blood or not.. you don’t ever exclude a child from anything.

My sister has a step son much older than her own kids (same Dad for all kids) and we don't get him gifts. He isn't with us during the holidays and she has said not to worry about it. I have only met him a few times and don't feel obligated. Not to offend anyone else in the same boat. Blended families typically have a different dynamic.

We are a blended and adopted family. I would be livid if someone treated my kids differently . They are all my children and everyone knows to treat that way. We are a very large family so if people wanna buy gifts it's normally something joint for the big kids and now we have babies something joint for them to make it easier and less expensive. No I think your totally rational to be upset x