Am I being unfair?

It’s my MIL birthday on New Year’s Day and she’s asked us to go over and stay New Year’s Eve so she can wake up to us all there for her birthday. Now my MIL is in the process of selling her house so most of the furniture is gone, there’s no spare bed so we’d have to sleep on a blow up bed/ only one sofa that fits 2 people/ no chairs etc. We would also have to bring his next to me/moses basket, toys, play mat. I’ve said we will go over New Year’s Day and spend most the day with her but we can’t stay over. She’s really upset by this and keeps bringing it up. She’s annoyed as we’re staying at my mother’s house on Christmas Day. However my mum has a Moses basket, second bedroom all set up, play mats and toys for my son to play with so we don’t have to bring anything else with us. I can see her point of view but I’ve also explained the above to her and she still doesn’t understand. She keeps pressuring my husband every time she talks to him and making him feel guilty about it. I’m not doing this to spite her but it’s just not practical for us to stay over at her house. Am I being unfair?

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You’re not being unfair at all in my opinion! Staying over on Christmas Day is a bit different to a random birthday, especially as your mum has bed and whatnot ready to go! Sounds pretty childish of your MIL. It would be a hard no from me!

If she’s prepared to make proper arrangements for you and your baby then i wouldn’t see what the issue would be but clearly she wont do that

I think you’re being really reasonable. If there’s nothing to sleep or sit on then that’s her issue if she doesn’t want to make arrangements for you. You going over on her bday should be enough, it’s not like you’ve declined you’ve just said it’s not practical xx

You're not being unfair at all 😊

You’re not being unfair. She’s acting very childish, so just take the high road. You explained yourself calmly and rationally and she needs to respect you and your plan. Don’t let her whining irritate you.

Erghh I hate this with MILs. It’s like as soon as there’s something related to your mum that’s different, they always take it super personal. You’re absolutely not being unfair- what difference does it make if you sleep at the house, or go there in the morning. She’s not going to be spending time with you whilst you’re sleeping. Stick to your guns, you have done nothing wrong and she should be more understanding xx

You’re definitely not being unfair. Your reasoning is logical. Stick to your gunnels my lovely and don’t let your husband give in to his mum’s guilt trips ❤️

My MIL is very similar when she doesn’t get what she wants. Its very frustrating having to explain yourself multiple times. I don’t think you are being unfair because you are going to see her anyway!

Nah not being unreasonable at all. I hate staying out with a baby as there is so much crap to bring but if someone already has the big stuff then that’s fine. Also I don’t understand why she isn’t happy with you just going for the day? Why do you have to stay over? So odd

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