Anyone else not want to go over to in laws for holidays?

I always get anxiety beforehand but I usually enjoy myself once I’m there.

We don't have to deal with in laws due to the fact that they live in Sicily 🤷‍♀️😅

I always went because I enjoyed it. Never because I felt obligated or anything. We had a great relationship and it was always fun and laid back. We did family dinners every weekend. But it all depends on what your relationship with them is like ya know

Unless they are down right rude to you, which they shouldn’t be as your husband shouldn’t allow it. I personally see the whole ‘I don’t want to’ as being spoilt childish. You’re an adult, you’re married, you’re meant to be a partnership. How would you feel if he refused to spend time with you at your families just because he didn’t want to. I think it’s embarrassing to be honest. Sorry for the bluntness just seen loads of these posts and I don’t get it.

Depends if you mean over the entire holiday period or just Christmas day itself. I get wanting to have a quiet Christmas day at home but it's a good idea to show up see all kinds of family at least at some point in the days between 24-31 December. We are trying to alternate which fam we have Christmas day with and see the other side a few days later but for my in laws they live abroad so that means staying under their roof for 7 days and 7 long nights which is a long time with little privacy

I love it because it means I don't have to cook Christmas dinner. This year, I am slightly worried, though, because they have a massive tree with between 200-300 baubles on it & we have to just hope that our little boy doesn't touch it as all he has done since we've had our tree up is take the baubles off & throw them around 🤦🏼‍♀️

I don’t go but he still goes. He does get mad but it’s so boring for me and the house isn’t child proof so it’s just stressful all round

We go for 4-5 days 🙈 It’s just what my husband has always done as the ‘kid’ - they’ve always hosted and done his stocking etc. I told him this year is the last year. We have 2 kids and we are spending Christmas morning at our house next year period. Time to form our own traditions as a family!! Think next year I’ll be way less stressed knowing it’s just 1-2 days we’ll be over there

I go n have fun once im there but don’t feel like im really wanted or cared if i went not. I dint have family so I just go for some type of inclusion

@Hollie lol there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to do something you don’t enjoy. Sometimes you have to do unenjoyable things and you complain because the prospect of it is not exciting but you do it anyway. It doesn’t mean they’re spoilt, it means they’re humans with feelings

@Victoria~ no there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to do something you’re right. But she hasn’t said she’s going has she. She’s saying she’s told him she doesn’t want to, she wants him to go alone and it’s causing arguments. They’re married. I had an ex who never used to make an effort with my family, it’s embarrassing.. ‘where’s ** today?’ Having to make excuses for them. Not on in my eyes.

My in laws don't live very close so we alternate years. This year we're seeing my parents for Christmas and in laws coming up Friday. It's not practical for him to go and see them. Last year they came to us and we all went to my parents on boxing day. Now we have children we don't really want to take everything to them, it's better for them to come to us

@Hollie my thoughts exactly I find this so freaking rude, and it always seems to be the women in the relationship that do this

@Hollie I assumed you were talking about the question being asked, not the posters specific situation. I do think it’s important to make an effort to spend time with in-laws but I also think complaining is fine. Not in front of my husband tho. He knows I don’t really like them but I prefer not to rub it in

@Hollie honestly I don't want to go because I can't pretend that it marriage is great anymore. And it just feels uncomfortable and fake. I actually really don't have a problem with his family. It's that I don't want to spend the day with him there. I would rather stay home by myself and enjoy a quiet fight free home... my kids don't even want to go over there, so they go to their dad's instead.

@Hollie also he has refused several couples game nights that my mom has had at her house. I would go and be the only one without my spouse. I used to go over to my mom's house for the holidays with my kids, and haven't been since we got married. She has stopped doing holiday dinners because we don't go there anymore. We don't have a great relationship anymore. He's yelled out me too many times, gets mad about the smallest things and has treated my kids terrible (especially my 11 year old). I have told him over the last severally months that I am done and want a separation and he won't leave. I can't leave, because my name is the only one on the house.