Advice please

I need help moms. My daughter is 13 and will actually be 14 tomorrow. She is talking to another girl which is her girlfriend. I don’t mind this at all andI even allowed the girl over a few times. I have access to my daughters social media and see the messages of her being mean to my daughter blocking her if she don’t answer the phone or just being rude. I told my daughter she needs to make sure she doesn’t allow people to talk to her that way. But I still try to be the supportive mom. The girl faked that she was me talking to her dad telling him that “I wanted her to stay over longer” instead of just asking me which I probably would have said yes. I see my daughter being more isolated in her room and irritated all the time sense talking to this girl and recently I saw messages of the girl manipulating my daughter trying to turn her against me her brother and father. She tells my daughter it seems as my son is the favorite and I don’t care about my daughter feelings along with her dad. I was so disappointed in my daughter for not telling the truth to this girl because it really seemed as if I am a bad mom. I’m so hurt because my daughter is changing. This have been going on for 2 months now. Apart of me wants to stop all contact with this girl but I am afraid I will lose my daughter. Not sure what to do. Advice 🙏🏽
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Hey mama I'm sorry your feeling this way It's tricky because you don't want to break trust with your daughter .. let me tell you your daughter knows it isn't true regardless what she says to her you can talk to your daughter and give her a safe place ask her how their relationship going if there's anything she want to talk about

@Carlee thanks I just feel like if I continue to allow this relationship my daughter is going to turn into someone I dont know. But I know from my childhood that if I break them up she may never come to me ever with anything thats going on

Let me tell you they will see eachother regardless you have to help her make good decisions maybe she will come around

@Carlee Oh I know thanks for helping I really need to pray and trust that what I teach her will guide her the right way

@Christina I know exactly what you’re going through. I am going through the exact same thing with my son who’s 14 and his gf who’s 13. She has turned him against me. I have access to everything and I’ve read messages from her talking bad about me because I don’t let them see each other. Aside from her not knowing what’s going on and my son not being honest with her so he blames me which is easier to do. I’m looked at like I’m a horrible mom! I’ve been called an asshole by her and her mom because they don’t like my parenting. And my son has agreed with her. He thinks I’m being too overprotective but it’s hard not to be in a way because we can see the toxicity of the person they’re surrounded with. I’ve never spoken bad about his gf, but he could get disrespectful towards me which is usually the reason why I don’t let him go out with her whenever he wants. It’s so so hard as moms to want to jump in and save our kids. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

But, one thing I learned through therapy with my son is that they have to learn from their own mistakes and right now as teens we’re not their friends, they’re going to have strong feelings of “hate” because they don’t like our rules. And that’s okay, you’re doing the right thing. Keep being the supportive mom and allow the open space for her to come to you. As hard as it is to want to swoop and save them. We have to let them be, we have to continue to talk to them and show them we’re not their enemy… we love them and want what is best for them. And we’re here for them no matter what. She can say what she wants, but at the end of the night she knows you love her and that’s all that matters. They’re not going to understand the things we see, their brains are not fully developed even tho they walk around acting like they know it all. Continue to guide her. Show her the right way she should be treated. Eventually she will turn to you and say mom you were right

Thank you for being patient. We can pray that day comes sooner than later. But, that’s one thing my son told me the other day after therapy, he wanted me to stop trying to open his eyes, he said let me go through this and see it for myself, let me experience it and learn from this mistake so I don’t do it in the future. He said let him be “blinded by love”— and I sat back, hugged him and said I love you, you’re right, as your mom I want to help you, but I’ll help more by just being here for you when you need me and ask me for help. And that to me made me feel slightly better.. even tho I secretly pray they break up during the summer so he can start high school fresh, single and on his new journey of finding himself through high school. Stay strong mama. My DM is open if you ever need to chat.

Happy 14th birthday to your daughter btw! I just realized the time stamp! Hope she had an amazing, blessed day celebrating her special day! 🫶🏼🙏🏽

@Maritza thanks so much your words really helped. Its so hard dealing with this because I also see messages saying my parenting skills are not good because I don’t let my child go any and everywhere. It can definitely be stressful at times. I am sorry your going through this as well.

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