MIL and new pregnancy
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your children's lives and that she needs to genuinely apologize before that happens, and take things slow. She doesn't get to talk to you that way and have access to your kids. He should feel the same way.
@Clarissa yes she never says anything to him, all she says to me is he doesn’t drive but I’ve said multiple times that is not my problem (as harsh as it sounds) he can get a bus and not driving is no excuse to not take your own child out. Then I told her it’s his responsibility the same way it’s my responsibility to make sure he sees my family. That was when she screamed at me and told me to F off. To me this shows no respect for me at all as the mother of her grandchild. Also she must know she’s in the wrong as she knows where I live, she’s not turned up to talk things through or apologise. She text me saying how is my little boy doing and I’ve ignored it.
@Clarissa I do feel my partner feels the same way as he’s ignored her texts to him but I also do feel like he also needs to tell her that. He says there’s no point as she won’t listen. I guess I just need to know I’m not the one being horrible by not telling her about this pregnancy. I’m also worried when she finds out she’ll want to see the baby but I’m not going to allow that until I’m completely healed and can accept being civil with her. When I had my little boy I hemmoraged and had a c section and she was constantly asking for her friends who I didn’t know to come round and meet baby and meet me in cafes etc I was so poorly I told her no and she kept demanding so I don’t want that again xx
I agree, he should tell her he needs space from her but that is up to him, you do have a right to mention it to him but he knows her well. So just block her and people who talk to her and will tell her your business, when she finds out eventually about the second baby, well, tough shit. Her son doesn't want a relationship with her, and you are not obligated to be civil and let her meet the new baby. That will just restart the whole cycle again. It doesn't sound like it's worth it and you're going to be exhausted going from one to two kids, you don't need a grown ass woman being a third child throwing tantrums and sending her friends to pester you
@Clarissa thank you so much! This has really reassured me how I feel is completly normal and I’m right in setting these boundaries. His mum and dad are divorced but they’re still civil so unfortunately won’t be able to tell his dad either incase he tells him but I can still equally say to his dad it’s up to his own son to decide not me xx
In your position I’d let all communication go through your partner and leave the decision up to him how she is told, and any future relationship is through him and not speaking to you directly - block all communication with her if you have to, or explain that she’ll have to take it up with your partner as he isn’t comfortable with her speaking directly to you and then HOLD that boundary for dear life cos she’ll argue it
Yeah no I would've already done that, when I had my daughter (she's 3) my MIL lost it because I wouldn't let her babysit or take the baby to her to visit (she was a premie and 4lbs) and we had an ugly fight over text about me keeping her son and granddaughter away from her, I told her it's her fault she didn't want to visit us at the apartment. I blocked her and we didn't talk to her for months until the holidays came around, then we slowly talked things out and she apologized to me. But I also had my fiancé on my side and he backed me up on having no contact with her. It's better now, I'm 11 weeks with our second and things are better but it's taken all this time and a lot of work and communication on both sides to find a middle ground. Doesn't sound like that's the case here, I wouldn't engage with her about anything if she has no respect for you, and you need to talk to your husband about how she treats you and that it's his mother, his responsibility if she's going to be in