ppa

so I've been struggling with postpartum anxiety since my lo came out. he was born at 36 weeks because I had pre-eclampsia. and he was in the nice for a week (on cpap for 3 days then bradycardia events for 2 days) he's almost 10 months old and I have days that cripple me to the point I'm shaking and crying throughout the day. today is one of those days. he's been having horrible sleep for 3 days (only at night) and I feel like I'm always doing something wrong when it comes to him. I feel so much guilt for days I'm crippled because I feel as though I'm not as attentive. idk what to do. I don't have the insurance or money to get medicine or therapy and my mom always tells me it's just in my head and to just turn it off so I just feel alone