Tips to stop bed sharing

My daughter is 3 and was literally the most perfect sleeper until 21 months ago when my son was born, she would hear him awake for feeds etc so we started bringing her in to bed with us so everyone could sleep. Now we have to lay with her until she’s asleep but I want her to sleep independently now. I’m the non working parent and my whole day is kids, I want that time back at the end of the night. She has a double bed so one of us can lay with her and all be comfortable. I am 100% pro sleep training - but not crying it out What can I try? What’s worked for you?

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We did a method where you put them down in bed drowsy and say the same thing every time “time to sleep now baby, mummy/daddy loves you, night night” and leave. You then set a timer if they start crying for 5 minutes, if still crying at end of 5 minutes go in and settle but try to stay as little time as possible, lay them down say the same thing and leave, timer goes on for 10 minutes if they cry, and you do the same pop in after ten minutes, next timer is supposed to be 15 minutes but I could never do it so I just did 10 minute intervals until little one went to sleep. My son only once cried longer than 2 check ins. So they can learn to self settle but are never left for long periods to cry and always know you are going to come back. This was with an 8 month old though x

@Carli ahh Ferber method! We did this with her, also at 8 months, and it worked perfect. 2 check ins also. This was because we took her dummy away that we tried it. So much easier when they’re small to do that because obviously we’ve taken her out of the cot so she just runs to the door and across the hall or downstairs now. I wish we had stuck to our guns way back 🥱

Does little one actually need you in the night to settle or is it just the first initial getting to sleep at the start of the night she needs help with? X

@Carli both. I’m awake now because she woke at 11 something looking for me. I keep trying to stay in bed with my partner for longer stretches but she summoned me. I think we lay with her to act fast because if she cries, we worry she’ll wake her brother - who would probably resettle himself - and don’t need the whole household awake

Have you got white noise on in their rooms? X

@Carli my son has it, my daughter told us she didn’t like it anymore at 2

You will probably find your son will settle himself back down if he wakes up, my daughter did when we had to sleep train her brother even moaned about her brother the following morning cuz she loves her sleep 🤣🤣

Update - last night was night 4 of her falling asleep by herself and all the way through to 7 without looking for us, no turning back now and I’ve got my evenings back 😌

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