How to deal with painful cervical checks?

So I’m a first time pregnant parent and I had my first cervical check about a week and a half ago to find out I was 2 1/2 cm dilated. Then this Monday I had another one to find out I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I didn’t want a cervical check done, but I also wanted to know where my body was at so I agreed to have one done when I was at the hospital. It was the second time I had it done since the other one was a week earlier, but for some reason, this one was more painful. After it was done, I broke down sobbing because I felt violated and I hurt and I just don’t like having people touch me in general so having someone touch me in such a private area make me so upset. I know this is something that’s gonna have to be routinely done, especially once in and after active labor. My mom told me the further long I get dilated the less painful it will be, but until my body gets there it hurts so bad and I can’t stand having it done. My mom also said they had to check it after you give birth and have your placenta. I feel traumatized. How do you guys handle the pain, trauma, and the uncomfortableness of it? Because now I will probably cry every time I have to get one done before and after. It’s just feels very traumatizing and it feels so violating.

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You can decline cervical checks, they’re actually not a good indicator of if labor is going to be soon or not. A lot of providers don’t even offer them unless you ask. Even when you’re in labor, you don’t have to have them until you think you’re ready to push or before an epidural. I’d recommend just sort of doing a little research to understand when they’re medically necessary vs when they’re wanted. Just know you have options and they aren’t a requirement. I’m 36 weeks and I haven’t had any, nor will I because I’m getting a c section. The only time you would need them is if there’s a medical indication something is wrong or if you’re induced they will want to check more frequently, but a lot of people wait until the epidural to get checked once they do the initial one in that scenario. I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough experience. I really reccomend just reading up a little on them and when/if they’re needed and why so you can advocate for yourself and make an informed choice 1/2

2/2 on whether or not you really want to go through that.

You can decline them. Dilation doesn’t tell you anything and can actually cause you more stress, with each cervical check it increases the chances of infections which can lead to baby being distressed and you being stressed out from cervical check can actually cause your labor to slow down or even stall. The stress can also cause your blood pressure to rise. It’s not always worth it and if/when they are (if something’s happening) they can be more gentle. They can only check you to see if you’re ready to push and make sure baby is in position. Getting a check can tell you things are moving but it won’t tell you ow long it’ll take. & cervical checks can not only introduce bacteria and cause infection before labor it can also “accidentally” induce you

Yep I agree with above. Decline them, they don't tell you how far away labour is or how soon something is going to happen.

Decline for sure and you don't need it after. I had my baby today. My midwife didn't check cervix after delivery of baby or placenta

You don’t have to have anymore cervical checks done if you don’t want them. There’s lots of other ways to see how far along you are. Don’t let people tell you you ‘have to’ to do this or you ‘have to’ do that in labour. It’s your body, your pregnancy, your baby. They need your consent to do these things. By all means, listen to the doctors - but they have to listen to you too.

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