Mixed feelings
Hey guys, this is just a rant. I need to write down my emotions somewhere because idk who else to tell.
For those who want to continue reading, just know it might not make sense lol. I’m just writing whatever’s on my mind (literally lol).
I’m a young ftm and a sahm. I barely had my life planned out before getting married and having a kid. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and baby so much and I’m so grateful to have the life that I do. But it’s exhausting. My baby has been waking up at 6am for the past two weeks. It’s fine . I’m sure it’ll pass soon (I fucking hope lol). It’s been taking a huge toll on me because I also stay up until 11pm-12am for my husband to get home. basically going to sleep around 2am. Ik I don’t have to but at this point, I can’t not do it. I stay awake until that time either way.
My husband has Thursdays and Fridays off and works overtime about 3 times a week. Ik he’s exhausted. Ik he works those long a rigorous hrs for us. Which is why I give him his breaks when he’s off. There are times where I ask him if he can put our LO to bed, to change her diaper.. etc. It just seems like I’m forcing him to do everything. From waking him up to start the day, to asking him to change our lo’s diaper. And what irks me the most is his version of spending time with her is having his eyes glued to his phone. We’re both exhausted. I get that. When I get my “breaks,” it’s usually him telling me I’m not able to get out of our room until he comes to get me so I don’t try to help with our baby lol. Or I’m stuck in the gaming room (in which I don’t mind, but it gets boring ash). I keep telling him that I have to be out of the house with a whole schedule of fun activities in order to have a break. Thing is.. idek what I like lol. Where the hell am I supposed to go ? I don’t have any friends and I visit my family (whom I need a break from as well) almost every week. I’ve completely lost myself. Who even am I lol.
Ima just stop it here lol. Am I the only one who feels / has felt this way?? Will this ever go away? I’m tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally.
Thank you to those who kept reading lol
Girl I hear ya on that. My husband works nights, and it's starting to take its toll on me. My schedule is -wake at 6am bc if I sleep till the baby wakes up (can be anywhere from 6a-8a) then I get literally no time to drink coffee while it's still warm, can't do my morning routine, can't water the garden or weed it (I can do it with the baby, but takes 2x as long plus it gets hot), etc... u get the idea. Then baby is put to bed between 6p-8p it depends on when she wakes, how she's acting, and how her nap(s) were. Then I don't get to bed till at least 10p. I've got all the house chores to do, and i have to eat something. And I can't for the life of me fall asleep till almost 12a! I used to work nights as well. Then hubby gets home anywhere from 230a-530a. Even if he's super quiet(which he rarely is), I wake up. I'm a super light sleeper, even when I took sleep aid, I'd wake to the slightest noise. Bc of the baby I don't want to risk not hearing her.