Post c section mind games

Can anyone relate? I’m really struggling, I’m 4.5 month postpartum and I had my healthy lb by emergency c section which was quite traumatic and I feel robbed of the birth I imagined. Due to this, my head is a dark place at times. My intrusive thoughts are out of hand. I keep on questioning if I love him and if I even deserve to be a mam and loads of scary thoughts which I darent even say on here when I know he is my absolute world and would die for him I’m just in a messed up place and feel like a waste of oxygen as a human. Ps. Sorry for the mood dampener x
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I also had emergency c section, my son is nearly 8 months and I still feel robbed of the birthing experience. I'm gutted not to have gone through birthing him myself. I've recently been to the doctor about my mental health, moods are so up and down and I feel so angry most days. Please speak to someone, a close friend, your partner, a doctor, your health visitor. You're absolutely not alone feeling like this but you do need to reach out for help. It's good you've already started on here. If you didn't love your son so much you wouldn't be speaking out, you're not a waste of oxygen... You're human and are struggling.x

@Vicky thank you so much! I’ve been on the waiting list for counselling for 4 months and finally have my 1st appointment next week, I just feel so much guilt for how I’m feeling right now xx

That's great that you get your first session soon. Hopefully you will be able to make some sense of how you're feeling. X

https://lookingaftermum.co.uk/overcoming-scary-thoughts?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAabpVovd3-hxktxCq0WeF3Cb1JcrvC3jlzm85r0IFOmuChgAE1IOae2XtIo_aem_Ammn_y6ZEO132as--NzPeQ Also take a look here. I find her posts enlightening and feeling like I'm not alone!

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