I’m Struggling

I love my son (1.5 yrs) with my whole heart but sometimes I’m scared that maybe I made a mistake having a child. Like maybe I’m not as cut out for this as I thought I was. I’m scared that I can’t handle it and that I’ll mess him up somehow or have some kind of nervous breakdown. Not to mention it’s terrifying to try and comprehend how we can provide for him with the economy the way it is. We can’t even afford rent and groceries with my husband working two jobs and childcare is too expensive for me to work too, so he’s just working himself to death trying to pay our bills and I’m doing my best to take care of everything else so he doesn’t have to worry about it. And it scares me how exhausted and depressed and stressed he is that I can’t share anything I’m feeling with him because I don’t want to break him. I’m afraid of what our lives are going to look like if something doesn’t change.

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God does not make mistakes, he brought your son into this world through you and he is going to take care of all of you. He loves you. I have such a similar feeling to you, every week we just barely make rent and have so much debt and I do absolutely everything in the house and with the baby while my husband works. If i think too hard about the future i get so overwhelmed but then i just try to think about the present and enjoy my baby because he is growing so much everyday. I don’t ussually feel comfortable writing these things because i don’t want to speak for God but he really does love you. And you do have what it takes to be a mother because you love your son more than anyone else in the world could, and that love, and the love of God will give you the strength to do anything. I really hope God shows his love for you in little moments of joy with your family ❤️

I made a few groups for venting about these things, because I knew I needed people who understood my struggle. You can go to my page and see my admin groups.....I think! If not I'll post them here when I'm not too tired. Basically though, I completely understand that feeling and I just learned to roll with life and treasure little moments with my kids. God is guiding and directing us. Even in these tough and lonely seasons! We've been renting and on poverty levels, to some degree, for 6 years! And it gets tiring and exhausting for everyone. God is our only help but he's all we need.

When it comes to making a mistake you just can’t think like that anymore. You love him, so tell yourself you did the right thing, tell yourself everything happens for a reason and everything is going to work out. And PLEASE think longggg and hard about who you’re going to vote for in a month. We desperately need this economy to change. ❤️❤️❤️

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