My partner is a chef so works 13-15 hours 4 days a week. For me the really important things are do something/ go out everyday, meet up with other mums from here who live really close to you, go to some baby groups so you can meet other mums who are off work too, there’s often quite a few free ones at local libraries and churches (no you don’t have to be attached to the church or be religious) see family if you have any that live close. Also my partner does an hour with my daughter if she’s awake (6-7am) before he goes to work, which give me an extra hour to sleep. If she’s not awake he’ll do a couple of house bits like hang up washing etc. Whenever he’s home and awake, he does most of the nappy changes, settles her to sleep in the evening and does bits like washing the pump/bottles etc, that gives me the odd hour half an hour to myself which recharges the batteries. Also if you haven’t been already, ask your midwife to refer you to the perinatal mental health team, for extra support x
He needs to find a job with a better schedule bc eventually u will want to have a normal day with him. Start bringing it up now so he can know it’s something he needs to work on. Apply these 5 rules to ur relationship: He needs to keep nurturing u emotionally He needs to provide food and shelter He needs to contribute to cleaning n cooking He needs to raise his child, ex: change diapers, feed, bath, put to sleep U need to create healthy boundaries with in laws
Does he need to sleep the whole day through? I wonder if it’s worth talking to him and trying to change his sleep schedule now in preparation.