Help 💔

I’ve recently left an abusive relationship. I’m finding coparenting unbearable. But now he is demanding our 1 year old has overnight stays. He NEVER got up with her during the night when we were together. Has NEVER even put her down for a nap. She is still breastfed (this has increased since the split). She needs feeding to sleep and feeds at least 2/3 times during the night still. We co sleep and have done pretty much since day 1. Can I do anything to stop him from having her overnight? How long can I use breastfeeding as a reason? He won’t understand and things she will just be fine. But theres a lot that has happened which makes me not trust him with her. Overnights I just draw the line at.

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Let him take you to court. It will take many months to get to a final order, if not a year plus. Or if you want to keep the peace, just keep saying no and try and build up. Ask that he does naps and longer daytime stays. If the motivation is financial, maybe offer a reduction in CMS.

I’m so scared of going to court. I’m scared that he will end up getting more than he’s currently getting and that they will say he needs 50/50. He’s emotionally abused and controlled my life for as long as I can remember. I have very little hard evidence to prove the kind of man he is. He’s extremely good at trying to act like the “perfect” dad that I’m worried I won’t stand a chance.

Just say no. Even if he demands. She is breastfed. I think thats enough reason not to let him have her. Do not give in.

@Sana how long can that be used as a reason though before it’s said that she doesn’t need it anymore? She’s 16 months and there’s absolutely no signs of her stopping anytime soon. She wants it all the time! I think a lot of it is the uncertainty of everything going on and needing the comfort

This exact same thing is happening to me. He wants her overnight. One time he took her and didn’t bring her back, I was so angry I went to the police. Have you found a solution? As mine just said to me he can have her for 4 days! Which is an absolute no no for me and not sure how much longer I can use breastfeeding for. My daughter is literally addicted to my boob right now.

@Faith he hasn’t brought it up since so I’ve not mentioned it. I think it was out of retaliation because I was trying to communicate that she wasn’t well enough to go to him, and he took that as a personal attack that I was trying to stop him from having her, without seeing the genuine reason. I’m keeping quiet about any additional time and hoping he just doesn’t ask again 🤞🏻🤞🏻

@Faith I’m so sorry you are going through this too 💔

I’m dealing with the same thing. I’m in the court situation right now and I have the same fear. My son has done overnighter with his dad but he comes back all dirty and tired and upset. My daughter I will not allow overnighters especially since she is breastfed. He called family services on me and to me that was the last straw. I no longer let him see the kids. I am now waiting for court but I’m terrified.

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