Second trimester MC

I had a second trimester miscarriage this year, and I’m pregnant again now. I’ve been struggling to be excited and happy, and although I’m about to hit the half way mark, I have this grief because instead of hitting my due date I’m hitting 20 weeks. I feel guilty feeling sad when I’m meant to be happy and excited but I’ve just been nervous and anxiety riddled the entire time. Any baby born around my last pregnancies due date is a trigger for me… and I just I don’t know what to do.
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It’s so tough the pregnancy after loss. No one prepares you for the anxiety. I was terrible my entire pregnancy. The son I lost had a severe heart defect and all I could think was this is going to happen again, every scan, every appointment I was preparing myself for disappointment and devastation. Every pregnancy announcement, every baby born just caused so much sadness and resentment for me which I hated admitting. One of my work colleagues was due just a few weeks after I was supposed to have my son. She had a healthy happy pregnancy. I fell pregnant again quickly and similar to you I was around 20 weeks at my due date she had her baby and I was pregnant and filled with anxiety. My second pregnancy was fine, he was born early and I had a few complications but all in all it was totally fine, but it was ruined by my anxiety, I felt so much guilt and same I felt I should be happy because at least I’m pregnant again. People told me “at least it happened quickly” and

“Lightening doesn’t strike twice” like that makes my grief and anxiety go away! All I can say is be kind to yourself. It’s okay not to be bursting with joy as you’re still grieving a loss. It’s a funny kind of grief grieving a child you never met, people who haven’t lost babies can’t begin to understand. You’re grieving the loss of your baby but also the loss of a life you had planned that never happened. It’s okay to be sad, it’s also okay to be happy, any emotion you feel is absolutely valid! You’re a powerful women, strong beyond belief. Be kind and be patient with yourself. Remember how amazing you are ❤️

I could have written this myself. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk I’m hitting 20 weeks next week and have been a ball of emotions. It’s ok to feel all the emotions. Give yourself grace. I know it’s so so hard not to feel guilty but what you are feeling is 100% normal for loss moms.

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