Failed VBAC

i was induced for pre-e but i couldnt progress past 4 cm and i do feel sad that i didnt experience pushing him out, i wont ever get to for future kids either too :( (if i choose to have any more) i feel you there, its hard when people say “at least youre both healthy” yes thats true but its still hard.

I was planning on having a natural birth with my son but he was having decels with my contractions so I had to get a semi emergency c section. Every day I feel disappointed I didn't have a natural birth and I'm afraid to try for a VBAC with my next one. I feel if I didn't have a c section I wouldn't be so afraid to have another baby

Also didn’t get past 3cm on first baby so I’m having an elective one this time. Saves a lot of time and hassle of dilating etc I don’t feel sad at all. X

I also planned for a vaginal birth and my goal was unmedicated. I had an entire birth plan filled out prior for an extenuating circumstance that I would go to the hospital (as I selected a midwife and birth house). Everything about the birth including timing of my contractions was not as usual for delivery. Ended up having lower back labor and was constantly puking and in excruciating pain. My son was sunny side up...I requested hospital and an epidural and ended up with an emergency c section after being in labor with my waters broken for more than 30 hours. I feel your heart break as this is my only child I will have. You are not alone in grieving that experience. On the other hand, I constantly remind myself that my child is healthy because of that sacrifice I made to do what was best. Hugs your way.

I haven’t, I’ve had two c sections and was told they would b c sections. I will always have that what if in me.. what if I would have given birth vaginally. I will always wonder what it would feel like or be..

As all the other commenters have said, you’re definitely not alone in your feelings. Grieving how something “should’ve” been is entirely normal, and I believe one day we will all get to the point of accepting things. I had an emergency c section due to decels with my first. Didn’t get to hear her first cries or meet her on her birthday and it was traumatic. When I met her she was perfectly clean and wrapped in a swaddle. Was going to try for a VBAC and prepped for it my whole pregnancy with my twins but ended up with them both breech at 36 weeks so went with a planned c section. The planned one did feel a little bit “redeeming” in comparison, if that makes any sort of sense, but only because I got to hear their cries and met them on their birthdays when they were still gross and new. It’s weird what we as mothers crave, and for me it was a bloody, cheesy baby on my chest. Hang in there and keep working through these feelings until you feel okay about them. 🤍

My son came a month early. I had a c-section after being in labor for 36+ hours and had stalled at 4 or 5 cm. The epidural caused more pain and I was on max pitocin. I am not having a second for several reasons. There are many things I am grieving. I spoke with another mom (kid is 16) and she said it gets better.

My baby was born by c section last year and I still think about what I went through with her. I had a plan and my doctor was all for it. I went in for my last appointment 2 days for my due date and she wasn’t doing what she was supposed to and I was devastated. Being induced was the last thing I wanted to go through. After 48 hours of labor and broken water, I had enough and opted for a c section. I of course went through a roller coaster of emotions. On one hand I was so happy and feeling blessed to see my beautiful baby, but so sad that I went through all I went to and now having to recover from a whole c section. C-section guilt is a real thing and I didn’t realize it until I looked it up. You went through a lot, but you have 2 wonderful children from this. That doesn’t take away the feelings you’re feeling, but there is something so comforting about having a healthy baby post all the trauma and you and baby were safe. You are strong ❤️

I had a failed VBAC too. I think I will always have feelings that I’ve missed out and feel envious when I hear about the dream vaginal birth but it definitely stings less as time goes on. Your feelings are valid, and I’m so sorry your births didn’t go the way you wanted 🩷

Yes, I feel a bit the same. First birth emergency c section, second one i almost got a VBAC but ended up in c section mostly out of my fear (water was broken naturally for 24 hours, after that long in pain I wasn’t progressing at all and midwife told me epidural wasn’t an option for me so I chose c section). I feel a deep sorrow that I won’t get a vaginal birth. But honestly I’m so grateful that I’m safe and so is baby. It’s a hard thing to process but I think talking to other c section mums, a long with time, will really help us heal.