Tantrums

I request the behaviour that I want to see. Since my LO was around 13 months I started showing her gentle hands. I would give them to my partner and role play with her with cuddly toys. When she is hitting I say, show me gentle hands and more often than not she does it! With biting, I immediately ask her, do you need something to bite and offer her a teether. I noticed that if I give a big reaction to a behaviour she is more likely to repeat it more so cause she understands that it gives her attention. So I try my best to positively reinforce and give bigger reactions to behaviors that I want to see. In terms of meltdowns, I lower my energy and be as quiet as possible. I get down onto her level and model deep breathing or quietly say, mummy is here for you. I also give her very light contact and open my arms and make sure she understands I am here for cuddles and kisses. The calmer I am, the quicker she calms down. I hope this helps 💜

I second the use of gentle hands, nursery also did this so now when he goes to pull my hair I say gentle hands and he now strokes my hair like a cat 🤣 but it has worked.

I struggle too with this....I try to be as calm as possible and let him ride it out because trying to control him is impossible. I sit with him even when he is pushing me away because he is so upset. I also try to distract him and sometimes it works but not always. He bounces back pretty quickly unless he is super tired and I always make sure he knows I'm here and love him.no matter what. He's not aggressive (yet), but he gets angry. It's tougher in public because judgemental eyes always make me feel awkward. My husband always says just ignore it and that it's normal, but in the throws of it it doesn't feel that way. i think if you can get through every episode somehow sane, you're doing well. It's not going to last forever as they learn to regulate and also take a moment for yourself to breathe. That's ok too. X

I’ve been sticking to what Brat Buster on Instagram says 😅 Keep calm, ignore when it’s reasonable to do so, distract,, and always always always “consistent corrective action”. Ours tend to happen when he wants something he can’t have or do. Gentle but firm command (EG Please get off that box, you’re too heavy and it will break if you stand on it) and he’ll reply ‘no’ and laugh. Follow with one more verbal (EG You need to get off the box now or it’s going away). Don’t ever give more than 2 warnings. Ok box is going away, lift him off, and remove it from the room. Once he starts tantruming wait a minute or two, or just till he seems ready to listen. Give a cuddle and distract saying let’s go play with XYZ. Never bring it up after the fact because they’re too small to remember it even happened. But I’ve noticed doing the above has realllly helped decrease the frequency

We also use ‘kind hands’ when she starts hitting. It’s hard because she likes play fighting with her brother and dad and is learning the difference. I do find though, when she’s getting aggressive during a tantrum I just have to move away - or if I’m holding her and she won’t stop being aggressive I put her down and won’t pick her up again until she stops. When she is kicking off I don’t say much, try and just wait it out, once she’s starting to calm down I’ll offer a cuddle or to go play etc. to move on. It is so hard though, sometimes I have to put her somewhere safe and go into another room for 5 minutes to breathe